Asking for some empathy and giving an advanced explanation

[SickAlice]

As of the season I returned home from a bit of adventuring in life as my stepdad has cancer and I wanted to be here to help with anything as well to not shirk any last chances I could have to spend with him. They have been in a different for about two weeks right now as he underwent radiation treatment. I stayed behind and took care of the house and animals. I'm a bit of a jitterbug, worry wart and sop so I've been fringed out. As a result I'm doing whatever I can to occupy my mind, stuff for Freedom Force of course. They were scheduled to come home tonight and I was pretty excited. My mother just called me a bit ago and said they wouldn't be showing. A big snow storm just hit so I automatically assumed that was the reason and she was meaning she would be at a hotel for a day or two. But then she says she had a really bad problem with her heart. Something about a blocked valve or something, it was hard to focus on since I started to sink away. They are going to do surgery on her heart, lucky in some weird way she was already at the hospital I guess, and I won't see her again for awhile. I love my mom, like more than much of anything I can think of and would literally walk through fire for her. I've always dreaded any day could come that I would ever here something like this. I won't lie to here either but I'm crying a bit. So I'm not sure how frequent I'll speaking here, nor if my release flow will have a gap it or not. Maybe knowing myself I'll just work even harder and put out a billion things, who knows. But my mind and a lot of other parts of me are suddenly really scrambled and I'm not sure where my focus is going to end up which is of course very essential to have to do any of this as you yourselves all know. So if there is a blight I just ask for your patience. You've all been really great to me and great to be around, even for the short time I actually am. Otherwise I'm not sure why I'm posting this other than I've seen others do it in similar situations and it seems the correct thing to do. Thank you for your time. Peace.

[Podmark]

That's really tough SA. Hoping for the best.

[spydermann93]

All I can say is that you must try and keep your chin up and have faith that everything will be ok.  Like you, I love my parents (and the rest of my family) to death and I would be absolutely devastated should something bad ever happen to them.  It's ok to worry, to be sad, to cry, and I perfectly understand where you are coming from.  I've had some very troubling parts in my past in regards with family, and it is very, very rough at times.  I feel your pain, man.  There is no shame in that.

All that you can do is give them whatever attention you can and give them nothing short of your best efforts.  Never hold yourself guilty if you ever feel like you disappointed them (and trust, that feeling will come) so long as you are trying your best to be there for them.  It won't seem like enough at times, but that's all you can ever really give.  I know that I don't personally know your family, but, at least with mine, any moment of time given to a family member in need is the most valuable of gifts.  It sounds tacky, I know, but it's true.  Just the thought of a family member caring so much about one's well-being means a lot.

I must apologize to you that I'm not that great of a pep-talker, but I sincerely hope and wish for the best for you and your family.  It must've taken some courage to tell us such personal information, but I'm glad that you did (helps relieve some of the sorrow when you can talk to somebody, even if it is over the internet).  Stay strong and never give up hope, my friend.

[stumpy]

SA, sorry to hear that a very intense situation has gotten more intense. I very much hope that better news is coming your way. I had a very similar situation myself several years back and I know it can... well, basically, take the wind out of you.

It's a good thing that you have FF-related projects to take your mind off of these other things, when you want. But, there is no need to apologize when those other things (especially situations with your loved ones) take you away for a bit. I am sure no one would question your priorities and this community will be here and be happy to see what you have done at any point.

[Glitch Girl]

Very sorry to hear this.  My prayers are with you and your mom; here's hoping everything turns out for the best.

[Outcast]

Sorry to hear about your mother. I'll also be praying for a successful operation for her. Try to be strong.

[Epimethee]

Sorry about this saddening and stressful situation. I wish you as much serenity through it as possible and, of course, a positive outcome for both your stepfather and especially your mother. 

[SickAlice]

Thank you anyone for your kindness and support. " Take the wind out of you. "...yep, that about sums it all up. I'm stuck in such a weird place were I can't focus on the even the most mediocre things right now to complete any task. It's a bit infuriating. I take much stock in being in control of my own facilities so to not have that is subtext to being crippled for me. Heck, I can't even manage to finish reading a comic book...oh the horror. I hope my system levels out sooner or later.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

Very sorry to hear about this; all I can do is wish you and your mother all the best here.

[BentonGrey]

SA, I'm so very sorry to hear about these struggles.  I have some conception of what you are going through, as when my best friend was losing his battle with cancer, I also had a very hard time focusing for a while.  My work and my life suffered.  I found that physical exercise actually helped me.  I'd go, run or swim, let my mind rage, and come home tired but more focused.  Finding nice, mindless tasks (doing the dishes and folding clothes worked for me) was also useful.  We'll keep you and your family in our prayers, and we wish you the best.