To Benton, With Love (TMNT Thread)

[Previsionary]

So, I came across this little article this morning. I knew Benton would LOVE it.

"When you see this movie, kids will believe one day that these turtles do exist, when we're done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they're going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely lovable." - Michael Bay

Source: http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/GreenieGobbie/news/?a=56536

[Courtnall6]

Is it Michael Bay's plan to destroy everything I enjoyed as a kid?

[BentonGrey]

Ohh...for the love of all that is good and holy, somebody stop that man!  I...I can't even think of what to say.  This is...this is so very, very awful.

[Tomato]

... Question: Why has no fan boy killed Michael Bay yet? It seems like all he does is ruin old TV shows with crappy movies. He's like an alternate version of Uwe Bowl.

[BentonGrey]

That's an excellent question, 'Mato.  If I were rich enough to get away with things like putting a dollar value on the lives of my fellow human beings I'd put a bounty on that man's head, if only in the form of rewarding any constant and public humiliations that could be heaped upon him.

Alright, I've collected my thoughts somewhat.  So, I knew they were making a new Ninja Turtles movie, attempting to reboot yet another franchise.  That, in and of itself only struck me as mildly stupid, but who, to my utter shock and horror, is directing this movie?  Michael Bay, yes, that's right, the scourge of my childhood.  Michael Bay, of Transfromers infamy, has apparently dedicated his life to the defile of all that was heroic and bright in the 80's.  As if his fearful name being associated with the reboot wasn't enough to have me worried, these words straight from the moron's mouth are enough to drain any slim hope I may have had for this movie.

Not only does it have all of the favorite buzzwords of the empty suits, words like "edgy," and "tough," but it also openly declares his contempt for the source material.  So, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are mutants right?  Not anymore, they're aliens, because apparently a giant anthropomorphic turtle is easier to accept as an alien than a mutant...I'm pretty sure that the suspension of disbelief is going to need to be rather prodigious either way.  An adaptation taking some liberties is fine.  I really enjoy what the new comic series does with the classic origin, but at the end of the day, the characters are still what they've always been.  Urg...I really cannot express my contempt for this fellow with enough force.

[Tomato]

I was kidding actually, but that's kind of beside the point. I didn't really grow up with any of this stuff, but even I look at a movie like transformers and see nothing but wasted potential. Films are a great way of getting people like me into the franchise, serving as an introduction to the characters and mythology of your series. But in the case of transformers, any real curiosity I had about the series was killed somewhere between the ugly character redesigns, the annoying human plot, and general inability to figure out who each of the characters were half the time. I don't understand what some people saw in it.

[oldmanwinters]

I'd heard the Bay "alien Turtles" speech a couple days ago, and I just assumed that when he said "alien race," he only meant it in the sense of "strange" or "in-human."

However, everybody else on the net is assuming Bay meant they're extraterrestrial turtles come to earth to defend humanity from... something evil; and since Nick/Viacom hasn't released an official clarification... who knows?

I liked the last Turtles movie (WB/Imagi 2007), but it pretty much flew under the radar of mainstream attention. So I guess if attaching Bay's name to it can get the franchise some headlines, that's not exactly a bad thing. I'm just not sure anyone can make me believe "they really do exist" quite like Jim Henson's shop did with the turtle costumes in the 1990 live-action movie.

Also, remember that Bay won't be directing the next TMNT, just producer. Jonathan Liebesman is the anticipated director. I'd love to hear Liam Neeson say, "Release the Krang!"

[BentonGrey]

Winters, you're a very positive guy, and you know I love you for it....however, Bay doesn't deserve positivity....or much else, in my opinion.  Anyway, folks are going to rather extraordinary lengths to take his comments and interpret them as something else than space turtles, and while these explanatory gymnastics are entertaining to watch, they're generally fairly ridiculous.  Yeah, it's within the realm of possibility that he could have meant something other than extraterrestrial, but his comment seems pretty straight-forward to me, and Occam thinks so too.

Anyway, I suppose if he isn't directing it, the movie isn't doomed from the onset....except for the whole alien thing.  That speaks to me of a pretty blatant disregard for the core concept to me.  I agree with you about the original movies, though.  Those Turtle costumes certainly sold me as a kid!  Also, I'm a HUGE fan of the 2007 movie.  In fact, I wish they'd just give that fellow a few hundred million dollars and tell him to keep making Turtles flicks 'till the cows come home (The Adolescent Aberrant Samurai Cows, that is).  It was a great movie, and I'd be more than happy with a series of CGI features, or even direct-to-DVD releases.  Unfortunately it looks like we're going to get overblown Hollywood mess rather than quality franchise.

[The Hitman]

I hope Bay was just confused about the origins of the Turtles... however, today it came out that the movie will drop the words "Teenage" and "Mutant" fro the title, with the official name being "Ninja Turtles." [Source]

This news made my heart sad.

[BentonGrey]

So, the internet is, as you might expect, exploding over this scrap of news.  While most of the responses are variations on my own barely contained disdain and disgust, this one is my favorite:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/michael-bay-will-fix-the-implausibility-of-teenage,71096/

[oldmanwinters]

Yeah, the net is pretty up in full on "U Raped My Childhood" mode.

Anyway, here's the only follow-up statement from Bay that I've been able to find:

Monday, March 19, 07:59 PM
Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.

Michael

http://www.shootfortheedit.com/forum/showthread.php?10389-Ninja-turtles

I can't say I've ever had much respect for Bay, but since he's not exactly in charge of the actual on-set duties, I'm staying optimistic.

I am disappointed it won't be getting a summer release though.  Previous TMNT films have just about always hit theatres in the early Spring; a Summer release would have suggested the studio's confidence in the brand to be a major box-office blockbuster.

[deano_ue]

the rumour flying around is they will actually be from dimension x, which means we could get krang which is good. but there is a chance we could also get utrom shredder which sucks more than a 2$ hooker having a BOGOF special

[thalaw2]

As screwy as the TMNT origin was it called attention to environmental pollution and was part of a whole genre such as Toxic Avengers and Captain Planet.  MB is not just ruining the turtles here.

[JeyNyce]

Michaelangelo is not happy

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/ninja-turtles-actor-accuses-michael-bay-sodomizing-franchise-director-tells-fans-chill-article-1.1047519?localLinksEnabled=false

[oldmanwinters]

Michaelangelo is not happy

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/ninja-turtles-actor-accuses-michael-bay-sodomizing-franchise-director-tells-fans-chill-article-1.1047519?localLinksEnabled=false

Now that was unexpected.  I remember when Burt Ward threw a fit over Chis O'Donnell's portrayal of Robin the first Schumacher Bat-film.

[Deaths Jester]

the rumour flying around is they will actually be from dimension x, which means we could get krang which is good. but there is a chance we could also get utrom shredder which sucks more than a 2$ hooker having a BOGOF special

There's a $2 hooker having a BOGOF special?!?!?!  Where?!?!?! 

[oldmanwinters]

Now this was REALLY unexpected!

Peter Laird and Brian Tochi (Leo's voice actor from the original live-action film) give cautious support to the idea of "alien Turtles!"

http://peterlairdstmntblog.blogspot.com/2012/03/few-musings-on-turtles-as-aliens.html

http://popwatch.ew.com/2012/03/22/michael-bay-teenage-mutant-ninja-alien-turtles-peter-laird/

[Previsionary]

Is Peter Laird the one that REALLY hates Venus De Milo? If so, then I'm going to pitch an idea to Michael Bay in honor of Benton. >:p

[thalaw2]

This whole thing stinks..I can't help thinking that some big oil or other high pollution industry is behind the idea of alien turtles.

[oldmanwinters]

I should probably note, however, that Peter Laird was being at least 80% sarcastic in his blog post.  He stance seems to be that "even though this clearly sounds ridiculous (and probably will end up being so), if you're gonna do something stupid like bringing in more than 4 mutant turtles, then this might be the most logical way to do it; ain't my problem anymore."

[BentonGrey]

Haha, when the best thing that can be said about your idea is "Well, it MIGHT not be the worst thing in the history of ideas," you've got problems.

[oldmanwinters]

Benton, I forget, did you already make a "space alien" joke about the TMNT in your Mod?  I do remember you did a "frog/amphibian" joke.

[BentonGrey]

Benton, I forget, did you already make a "space alien" joke about the TMNT in your Mod?  I do remember you did a "frog/amphibian" joke.

Yep, I did, and now it has a whole new dimension to it, doesn't it?

[MJB]

Meh. I was a huge (HUGE) fan of TMNT when it first came out. This news doesn't really bother me one way or the other. There have been many, many variations on the Turtles. I've read/watched definitive versions before. This new version will just be entertainment. Nothing more.

[oldmanwinters]

Meh. I was a huge (HUGE) fan of TMNT when it first came out. This news doesn't really bother me one way or the other. There have been many, many variations on the Turtles. I've read/watched definitive versions before. This new version will just be entertainment. Nothing more.

Even I have to admit that the current influx of new TMNT continuities is mind-boggling.  There's the new IDW comic book continuity (2011-present) which is turning out pretty good and reinvents the origin to include Baxter Stockman's genetics lab and even reincarnation, the Nickelodeon CGI cartoon (late 2012) which is giving most characters a more youthful appearance except for Splinter and Shredder, and now the new 2013 live-action movie  that will add an weird sci-fi angle to the story.

The Turtles franchise has never seen such an overhaul!

[Previsionary]

What about the TMNT series from the early 00s that lasted 6 seasons and had 3 or 4 TONAL/STYLE changes while still being in the same continuity, which included time travel and aliens, only to be tied up with a movie that included past continuities of TMNT.


"1,2,3,4 TURTLES!"

[oldmanwinters]

What about the TMNT series from the early 00s that lasted 6 seasons and had 3 or 4 TONAL/STYLE changes while still being in the same continuity, which included time travel and aliens, only to be tied up with a movie that included past continuities of TMNT.


"1,2,3,4 TURTLES!"

Those were some big changes for fans to handle, but 3 new continuities in 3 years really is unprecedented in Turtles lore!

[lugaru]

http://cdn.the-gutters.com/comics/ee5a789d43e6835ebc4b65a9406e9aace5459eee.jpg

Gutters is not always funny, but I'm loving this weeks one.

[BentonGrey]

Yeah, I chuckled at that.

[oldmanwinters]

Long-time TMNT comic artist, Jim Lawson posted some awesome Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles pics on his Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jim-Lawson-Illustration/155495057879245