Why is this forum?

[BlueBard]

I was going to say, "Why is this forum still called 'Randy's House of Hope?'"

But, I thought I would rephrase it and open things up for existentialistic or metaphysical responses in case nobody was interested in answering the original question.  As opposed to the unoriginal question.

Anyway, it seems to me this forum is meant to be the Un-Forum and that the only constant is that there is no constant (except maybe the fact that Randy trumps everybody).  But the name hasn't changed in so long and apparently Randy hasn't posted in quite a while, though he's still lurking about.  Probably doing admin-y type stuff.  It sort of leaves me with a sense of cosmic imbalance, you know?  Where's the hope?

I mean, you used to be able to hope that you could post something silly and Randy would torture you in some bizarre and humorous way.  When was the last time he did that?

Personally, I think the answer to my unoriginal question is "It is the sound of lasers not firing".  It is "the feel of a grenade pin unpulled".

[BWPS]

SMEX

[murs47]

Why is your forehead?

[BlueBard]

Why is your forehead?

I don't know, but it's real shiny.  I catch people staring at their reflections occasionally.

[Tawodi Osdi]

One school of philosophy would say the name of this forum is called what it was due to its pre-existent form and messing with the name would be messing with the universe, and we can't have that.

Another school would say that all reality is just an illusion and you only think the title is Randy's House of Hope.

[BlueBard]

One school of philosophy would say the name of this forum is called what it was due to its pre-existent form and messing with the name would be messing with the universe, and we can't have that.

Marvel and DC are always messing with the universe, why can't we?

We'd be preserving the grand tradition of comic universes everywhere.

We should totally have a Brand New Infinite Secret Dark War Reign of Multiverse Identity Crisis, with a side of zombies.

(On second thought, hold the zombies.  They give me gas.  Where's my bottle of Zom-Beano?)

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

You dare question the (very) fabric of the forum itself!?  You're playing with a can of worms, man!

[BlueBard]

You dare question the (very) fabric of the forum itself!?  You're playing with a can of worms, man!

Really?  I thought I was playing with a Barrel of Monkeys^™.

Well, no matter.  Give me the can of worms.  I'll troll along with those.

I think the fabric of the forum needs a bit of drycleaning.  It's getting a bit dusty {coff!}

[BlueBard]

Bad news.

I took the fabric of the forum to Won-Harr Martinizing for drycleaning and they lost it.

They may have accidentally switched the tickets.  They're trying to figure out where the fabric went to and they'll let me know as soon as they find it.

I guess we have a Won-Harr Martinizing Mystery Ticket Forum Fabric Crisis.

[kkhohoho]

Bad news.

I took the fabric of the forum to Won-Harr Martinizing for drycleaning and they lost it.

They may have accidentally switched the tickets.  They're trying to figure out where the fabric went to and they'll let me know as soon as they find it.

I guess we have a Won-Harr Martinizing Mystery Ticket Forum Fabric Crisis.

Is it on Multiple Earths, or Infinite Earths? I'm not really sure myself.

[Sevenforce]

Are you sure its not Negative Fabric? Or even...an anti-monitoring fabric?

...Would that be something like an RFID neutralizing agent? Hmm...must research more

[Tawodi Osdi]

How much starch is used for anti-monitoring fabric?  Is it machine washable?

[BlueBard]

I have an update.

Won-Harr brought in an expert in this kind of thing to investigate.  Some dude named Egg Shen.

Anyway, it seems the drycleaning chemicals interacted with the Forum Fabric and scattered all of the threads into the 5th dimension.  The threads infinitely replicated and crossed each other, thus creating an Anti-Post Continuum.  Therefore, I am both posting and not-posting at the same instant.  And thus, my post makes no logical sense whatsoever.

We now have a Won-Harr Interactive Fifth-Dimensional Fabric Infinite Cross-Thread Post-Paradox Crisis.

Any suggestions?  Extra starch might work.

[Reepicheep]

Well it just so happens that I'm an expert on cutlery.



...

[BlueBard]

Well it just so happens that I'm an expert on cutlery.

If you can explain how cutlery will solve this problem, I'll give you a call.

Speaking of calling somebody...

I wonder if the Ghostbusters are available?  Maybe they can do something with a forum that is but a ghost of its' former self.

Maybe we can get a two-for-one and resurrect the Fan Fiction forum, too.

[Reepicheep]

Well it just so happens that I'm an expert on cutlery.

If you can explain how cutlery will solve this problem, I'll give you a call.

I have one word for you:

Spork.

[Tawodi Osdi]

This reminds me of the time I put instant coffee into a microwave oven and went back in time for 5 seconds, or was that somebody else?

[Alaric]

Well it just so happens that I'm an expert on cutlery.

If you can explain how cutlery will solve this problem, I'll give you a call.

I have one word for you:

Spork.

Some friends and I were just discussing an idea for a new utensil the other day- it would be a spork with a cutting edge, so it would double (or triple) as a knife. The back end would also be usable as a pair of chopsticks.

[Tawodi Osdi]

If you crossed chopsticks with a straw, you could use them for soup after finishing the noodles.

[BlueBard]

Bah.  Any true Chinese cuisine aficionado knows all you need is a set of chopsticks.  Plus, in the hands of a martial arts master they become deadly weapons.  Only barbarians would use a spork.

[Reepicheep]

Only barbarians would use a spork.

And we're proud!

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

There's some solid ideas for all-in-one utensils here for refining the dining process. 
About time is all I'll say!  At last I can discard all that clunky cutlery cluttering up my cupboard. 

[Tawodi Osdi]

This sounds like a job for that device created by the Swiss military forces called the Swiss army knife used by Swiss elite forces for their field maneuvers.  After all, one never knows when he will be in the middle of a the jungle and needs to open an emergency wine bottle.

[Alaric]

This sounds like a job for that device created by the Swiss military forces called the Swiss army knife used by Swiss elite forces for their field maneuvers.  After all, one never knows when he will be in the middle of a the jungle and needs to open an emergency wine bottle.

Then there's the Swiss Army Knife's Medieval ancestor, the Swiss Army Sword, used by those Swiss mercenaries who were so plentiful in the Middle Ages. Out of a single, admittedly-bulky device, they could fold several different sizes of swords, maces, and, of course, pikes. Plus, it came with a toothpick.

[BWPS]

Does anyone ever actually use the toothpick? I have very little awareness of personal hygiene, buy that just screams disgusting.

[BlueBard]

They should make a Swiss Army Knife with a built in motorized toothbrush.

Or maybe just a toothbrush attachment for my cordless drill.

[Deaths Jester]

They should make a Swiss Army Knife with a built in motorized toothbrush.

Or maybe just a toothbrush attachment for my cordless drill.

Careful where you put it though...things could happen.  Like that one time Sven got into my...well, that's another story that isn't appropriate for this forum.  Damn Sven!!!