More death!

[Uncle Yuan]

It's just too quiet here . . .

A small, elderly Chinese man stalks the length of a large, oppulent office, a snarl on his face and a large machine gun in his hands and screams, "Say hello to my leetle fren!" and opens fire.

[Spam]

Suddenly, a small, ten year-old boy, appears from behind a bush, and ninjas some business dude, whom was going to work.

The end.

*evil japanese evil guy laugh*

FORIAMSPAM!

[ow_tiobe_sb]

*dies quietly in a corner due to unrelated and perfectly absurd causes*

The Beginning.

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and You Know the Rest

[Panther_Gunn]

*immediately leaves the thread, before the smackdown comes down for using weapons*

:gauntlet:

[kkhohoho]

*immediately leaves the thread, before the smackdown comes down for using weapons*

:gauntlet:

Unlees of course Randy decides to hunt down anyone who leaves so as not to alert the authories-*gets his mouth gagged.*-mphhhh mph mpph mph MPPH!!!

[Uncle Yuan]

Yeah, see: lettle fren, spray of bullets, dead bunburyist . . .

But no Randy.

I think the cat's away, guys.  Whoop it up!

[Spam]

*barks like an owl*

Mooooo!

FORIAMSPAM!

[kkhohoho]

Don't you all SEE?!  This is all part of a plot to lure us all into a state of false sercurity, and then STAB US where we STAND!  WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE-*SLAP* ...thanks.  I needed that.  *Throws Spam head first into an oven and sets it to 600 degress for 5 hours.  5 hours later, the oven is opened, and Spam is now over cooked.  To top it off, his clothing's on fire.*

Spam flambe! Yum! :P

[Toxic_J]

Don't you all SEE?!  This all part of a plot to lure us all into a state of false sercurity, and then STAB US where we STAND!  WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE-*SLAP* ...thanks.  I needed that.  *Throws Spam head first into an oven and sets it to 600 degress for 5 hours.  5 hours later, the oven is opened, and Spam is now over cooked.  To top it off, his clothing's on fire.*

Spam flambe! Yum! :P

Uh wait... that wasn't in the script! :blink:

[Sword]

*stuffs kkhohoho into a Decompression chamber and sets it to pressure equal to seventy-five feet underwater*

[Uncle Yuan]

(Which is only about 4 atmospheres of pressure.  If he stays in too long he might get the bends if he comes out without depressurizing . . .)

UY cranks the chamber up to 7500 feet underwater.  While that builds up he places plastique charges around the door set to go off when the final pressure is released . . .

[Sword]

*sprays Uncle Yuan with catnip and releases the White Bengal Tigers*

[Deaths Jester]

*farts...becuase he had to!!!*

[ow_tiobe_sb]

*averts his eyes bashfully*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and You Know the Rest

[Uncle Yuan]

But that's not really death, is it?

:throws a lit match through the cloud of murky vapor surrounding DJ.:

Better.

[Sword]

*ties Uncle Yuan to the train tracks. One half of his body is on the track for the northbound express, the other half for the southbound freight. And here they come now!*

[Spam]

Don't you all SEE?!  This is all part of a plot to lure us all into a state of false sercurity, and then STAB US where we STAND!  WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE-*SLAP* ...thanks.  I needed that.  *Throws Spam head first into an oven and sets it to 600 degress for 5 hours.  5 hours later, the oven is opened, and Spam is now over cooked.  To top it off, his clothing's on fire.*

Spam flambe! Yum! :P

My pants... RUINED!!!

*kicks kkhohoha in the shins*

...

Owwwwwwwwwwwww...

FORIAMSPAM!

[Uncle Yuan]

*ties Uncle Yuan to the train tracks. One half of his body is on the track for the northbound express, the other half for the southbound freight. And here they come now!*

And the apinful part was not the train, but the session on the rack beforehand that allowed such a small man to span two sets of tracks!

[Alaric]

*ties Uncle Yuan to the train tracks. One half of his body is on the track for the northbound express, the other half for the southbound freight. And here they come now!*

And the apinful part was not the train, but the session on the rack beforehand that allowed such a small man to span two sets of tracks!

Yes, very apinful.

[Cardmaster]

*rubs some sticks together in an attempt to create a fire*
Come on, come on.. this is how they did it on Discovery Channel!
*suddenly, without warning, a spark flies and the sticks ignite*
Yes! I have made fire! Truly I am a god among me-
*he is cut off as the flames engulf his body*

[Uncle Yuan]

*ponders the blazing Cardy*

Poor guy, he doesn't realize that we can do that to each other now.

*Grabs Alaric and throws him into the conflagration*

He's a little green, but he'll burn OK.

[Alaric]

*Grabs Alaric and throws him into the conflagration*

He's a little green, but he'll burn OK.

Now THAT's apinful!

Uotch! Wo!

(Screams in apin)

[Lord Elcorion]

i'll save ye cardy, alaric. --blast you both with a high pressure hose.. from a sand blaster-- umm.. oops.. --watching the skin get flayed from them both--

[Deaths Jester]

*calls forth his horde of undead brussel sprouts and commands them to eviscerate Uncle Yuan* 
Feel the pain!!

[Sword]

*Forces Death's Jester to reincarnate as Fred Rogers 2.0*

What... he was already dead.

[Spam]

...

*kicks dirt on Sword's boot*

...

PWNED!

*runs in the fire, making sure he gets himself before Sword gets him*

FORIAMAPINFUL!

[kkhohoho]

...

*kicks dirt on Sword's boot*

...

PWNED!

*runs in the fire, making sure he gets himself before Sword gets him*

FORIAMAPINFUL!

*Pours water on the fire and Spam, thus dousing Spam. Then, pours gasoline on Spam, and tosses a match on Spam. Spam is then once more on fire, and likely to be burned to a nice cripsy flavor.  All the while the perpatrator of this act of repeated violens-SMACK!-violence knows that he did it because he wanted to do it himself*

It's the simple things in life you treasure. :)

[Spam]

Gapthphub! I'm once again on fire! My burns have burns on them! And I have no idea how I'm talking whilst burning to a nice, probably brownish-blackish crisp! Oh, the sorrow, oh the humanity of being burned twice! And all's I wanted was to escape the probably terrible death I would have been given by Sword anyway, but Kkhohoho had to interfere in that schemish plot of his which I knew he had, because I knew!

...

Wait, I'm on fire? I just thoug- *spontaneously combusts, putting him in an even deeper flame* GAH! I'M ON FIRE!

FORIAMSPAM!

[Uncle Yuan]

*pulls out caulk gun and applies thick coat of Liquid Nails[tm] to kkhohoho*

*steps back, picks up a 10 foot pole and shoves kk into the burning Spam where he sticks fast*

[Spam]

*trys to push kkhohoho off of him*

MY FIRE!

FORIAMSPAM!