Smooooooooth....

[ow_tiobe_sb]

...jazz, man! *snaps fingers and accidentally incinerates Death's Jester*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Sword]

*sweeps up the remnants of DJ and pours them into a reanimator*

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

 :cool: Nice...

[GGiant]

:cool: Nice...

:lol:

[Spam]

:cool: Nice...

:lol:

:lol:

[The Pwime]

:cool: Nice...

:lol:

:lol:

:angry:

[Spam]

:cool: Nice...

:lol:

:lol:

:angry:

:lol:

[GGiant]

:cool: Nice...

:lol:

:lol:

:angry:

:lol:

:P

[Reepicheep]

:cool: Nice...

:lol:

:lol:

:angry:

:lol:

:P

:huh:

[Spam]

:cool: Nice...

:lol:

:lol:

:angry:

:lol:

:P

:huh:

:lol:

[Deaths Jester]

...jazz, man! *snaps fingers and accidentally incinerates Death's Jester*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

*sweeps up the remnants of DJ and pours them into a reanimator*

*pops out of the reanimator okay*

"What de 'ell?!?!?!  Why would Tiobe incinerate me?!?!?!?!  RRRR....I daresay this calls for a...wait for it....BATTLE OF THE JAZZ BANDS!!!!!"

[Spam]

*puts on a ref shirt*

Alright, here's how it works gentlemen.

DJ, you've got bass guitar and a full back-up band. You'll have two solos to show us your stuff. You're dead, so you should be able to play bass amazingly.

Tiobe, you've got lead vocals AND trumpet. You'll have a vocal solo, and a trumpet solo to show us whatcha got... oh, and you will, of course, have a back-up band to play along.

Alright, gentlemen. When the first note plays, don't stop until it's done. Let's do this!

llllllleeet's get ready to BATTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEE!

[ow_tiobe_sb]

Would the judging panel mind ever so much if I were to switch to the trombone? 

I lack the embouchure to play a trumpet.  Besides, I can blow this mean rag on "Mary Had a Little Lamb" that always gets the cats snappin'.

*snaps fingers in demonstration and accidentally CREMATES DJ*

Oh dear...:oops:

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Deaths Jester]

Would the judging panel mind ever so much if I were to switch to the trombone? 

I lack the embouchure to play a trumpet.  Besides, I can blow this mean rag on "Mary Had a Little Lamb" that always gets the cats snappin'.

*snaps fingers in demonstration and accidentally CREMATES DJ*

Oh dear...:oops:

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

*uncremates himself under a small rain cloud*

Rrr....if the judges deem it safe for Tiobe to go with a trombone, I demand to be allowed to play the saxophone instead of the bloody bass AND be allowed vocals as well.  I daresay, that if I'm not allowed this less than modest request taht I shall bring this up with the musician's union!!!

(Unbeknowest to Tiobe, until now I guess, DJ actually holds a partial major in Jazz Studies in RL....boy did he cremate the wrong person....heheheheh)

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

Hello, and welcome to Jazz Club FR.  Tonight, Deathmatch Jazz.  Mmmmm!  The stylish strains of the dapper Bunburyist meets the dark tootlings of the undead Jester.  Nice!  These men have revolutionised the boards with their discordant stylings:  one brining Wildean delivery to all he posts; the other bringing us 'Talk like a Pirate Day' 24-7.  Arrrr matey!  Tonight, they battle live in our studio...


Grrrreat!

[Spam]

And it looks like the judges agree to the players change of weapons, er, I mean, instruments... so long as nobody else gets cremated.

*sports announcer voice*

"And, the, excitement, is, so, tense, you, could, cut, it, with, a...

*reads que-card ever so carefully*

tangerine... now, let's go ringside to find these two legends in the battle of what may be the biggest, and probably only battle we'll see of this type on good ol' FR, in forever!"

[ow_tiobe_sb]

Ringside Correspondent :) { This is Reggie "Ragtime" Rogers ringside at the Phantom Bunburyist-Death's Jester bout of the century!  I'm here with a man who needs no introduction to the world of competitive jazz contact sport, The Phantom Bunburyist!  Phantom--may I call you "Phantom"?

  <_< { No, you most certainly may not.

Ringside Correspondent :) { Excellent!  Phantom, what type of performance can we expect from you tonight?  How do you plan to take the wind out of DJ's sax?

   :o { Well, I must say that the suggestion of such a rude gesture is very painful to hear.  Please do me the courtesy of never asking me such an uncouth question again.  I have nothing but the utmost respect for Mr. Jester, despite his shortcomings in the area of personal hygiene. ...

   ^_^ { I will add, however, that I plan to commence with our troupe's dulce rendition of "Marie", followed by an up-tempo "Enigma," and closing with one of our original pieces--a true "pressure cooker" as they say in the jazz circuit--"Valet Vault," featuring my man Lane on the washboard.

Ringside Correspondent :) { Do you feel confident that you will triumph over DJ and The Carrion Crew, Phantom?

   :) { As a general principle I never fight a battle that I have not already won.  Only time will tell how this match fits into my philosophy.  Suffice it to say that, in the most gentlemanly terms possible, I fully intend to give Mr. Jester and his cadaverous mates a right royal kick in the brass.

Ringside Correspondent :) { Best of luck to you, Phantom!

   :) { Yes, thank you kindly, irritating sport interview person.

Ringside Correspondent :) { There you have it, folks!  The Phantom Bunburyist, promising to trounce Death's Jester in a no-holds-barred jazz deathmatch!  Who will swing a victory?  "Ragtime" Rogers, reporting from ringside: Back you, Spam!

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Spam]

:spam:  :) "Thanks Ragtime... And now, here we are, at perhaps what could be the biggest thing that Jazz music has ever seen, or heard before... why, I'm not sure if Jazz has ever had a Battle of the Jazzers before... Hehehe, jazzers..."

*starts to laugh thoroughly, but then continues*

:spam:  :banghead: "Anyways, unfrotunately, due to time constraints, and hygiene levels that are beyond sanitary, we're just going to skip the interview with DJ, and hopefully get this show on the road."

:spam:  :thumbup: "Introducing first, in the purple corner, weighting in at 182 pounds of pure intensity, known as the "Man who once came from Trombone... or, maybe that was just the instrument he played!", with his back-up band of, Loius on drums, Big Daddio playing sax, trumpet, and the piccolo, all at the same time, Clara on Clarinet, and a bunch of other people that make up a band, including himself playing the trombone, give it up for "The Phantom and the Smashers!"

*waits for applause to die down before starting the second introduction*

:spam:  :thumbup: "And introducing second, weighting in at 75 pounds of pure bones and bones, standing in what seems to be a corroded corner thanks to the ring-eating stench he brought upon this house of Jazz, the man once known as "Amazing Performer! Believable Music Player!, and These Reviews are Fake, but yet this guy manages to Sound Amazing!", the man with the band consisting of, his own henchmen from the undead that apparantly seem dead, and also himself, playing on the Saxophone, give it up for "Death Jester and the Smashers, er, I mean, and the Melting Pots!"

*waits for the applause... again*

:spam:  ^_^ "Okay everyone in the House of FR, get ready to get Jazzercised in a way that you never thought was possible, because this place is gonna blow as soon as we hear some music. Ragtime, let's get down there to hear the official rules."

[Deaths Jester]

*stumbles to the center of the ring to hear what good old "Ragtime" Rogers has to say about the rules.*

[Outcast]

After a couple of days,nights,owl hoots,cobwebs,wind howls,lizard croaks,dog barks,cat mews,leaves scattering by the floor, and tons of popcorns later....the audience remains ever vigilant waiting to see this match start :popcorn :popcorn2 :popcorn :popcorn2 :popcorn :popcorn2  :mellow:  :mellow:  :unsure:  :blink:  :ph34r:  :wacko: The silence only serves to increase the tension already in the air .......

[Deaths Jester]

Screw the rules, let's play boys!  *DJ counts off his group and they rip into a rousing rendition of John Coltrane's "Giant Steps"*