Woot! Job!

Sword · February 16, 2007, 03:45:07 PM

I got one of my wishes. I'll be working sales in the Lawn&Garden department at Sears as of next friday.

So, aside from congrats, anybody acquainted with department store sales want to impart some wisdom to the noob.

lugaru · February 16, 2007, 03:56:43 PM

Great news! Retail builds character. Hmm... I worked for my dad's hardware store for the longest time but that was probably a lot more 3rd world and full of terror than what you will be facing. Regardless here is what I learned:

1) Watch out for barefoot street children trying to steal paint thinner and glue.
2) The prostitutes in the neighborhood are good customes but need everything explained.
3) If he is robbing your store he probably cant afford a gun, nine times out of ten it's a screw driver or a butcher knife. Keep a machete or sledge hammer behind the counter.
4) Filling bottles with paint thinner in a non ventilated warehouse is not smart.
5) Welding pipies under 100+ degree weather can lead to dehidration.

I can only assume that sooner or latter all those lessons will come in handy at sears.

BentonGrey · February 16, 2007, 03:59:35 PM

LOL, congrats man!

chuckles · February 16, 2007, 04:17:57 PM

Awesome, good job Sword. :thumbup:

Alaric · February 16, 2007, 06:55:02 PM

Congratulations!

Midnight · February 16, 2007, 08:26:59 PM

Congratulations. The work force is a good place to be. I personally prefer labor to retail (I'm ugly and scary looking and have no people skills) but good luck. :D

thalaw2 · February 16, 2007, 09:31:15 PM

Quote from: Midnight on February 16, 2007, 08:26:59 PM
I personally prefer labor to retail (I'm ugly and scary looking and have no people skills) but good luck. :D

Seeing a Werewolf in he Lawn&Garden department would certainly scare the beejeezzss out of me....Congrats Sword!! :thumbup:

Gremlin · February 17, 2007, 02:06:02 AM

Congratulations! :thumbup:

lugaru · February 17, 2007, 03:37:03 AM

Quote from: thalaw2 on February 16, 2007, 09:31:15 PM

Seeing a Werewolf in he Lawn&Garden department would certainly scare the beejeezzss out of me....

Nice rake... do you have it in silver?

gdaybloke · February 17, 2007, 04:17:13 AM

Gratz, Sword! Now you can finally afford shoes!

Sword · February 17, 2007, 09:10:10 AM

After I got the job, I walked the floor to see what kind of wares I'll be selling:
Lawnmowers. Grills. Chainsaws. Blowers.
This is going to be awesome.

ow_tiobe_sb · February 17, 2007, 09:20:28 AM

So tell me, Sword, can you play the rake? :D

Congrats!

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and Sometime 18th-century Fop

Sword · February 17, 2007, 11:09:31 AM

No but if you hum a few bars...

El Condor · February 17, 2007, 01:06:17 PM

Quote from: Sword on February 17, 2007, 09:10:10 AM
After I got the job, I walked the floor to see what kind of wares I'll be selling:
Lawnmowers. Grills. Chainsaws. Blowers.
This is going to be awesome.

What, no flamethrowers? :(

Congrats, amigo; you must feel so relieved to have the gig sealed up!

EC

Dweomer Knight · February 17, 2007, 05:47:38 PM

Quote from: Sword on February 17, 2007, 09:10:10 AM
What, no flamethrowers? :(
EC

Well, with a blower, a grill and a little creativity....

Not having money sucks. Grats!

DK

Sevenforce · February 17, 2007, 05:55:21 PM

Well, now I know where to go for all my zombie-killing-and-grilling needs :lol:

Congrats, Sword, and remember : the customer is never right. NEVER. They're usually wrong, inbred or stupid...and sometimes all three <_<

Panther_Gunn · February 18, 2007, 02:05:54 PM

Quote from: Sevenforce on February 17, 2007, 05:55:21 PMCongrats, Sword, and remember : the customer is never right. NEVER. They're usually wrong, inbred or stupid...and sometimes all three <_<

*psssst* Sven.......no need to pass along what the retail people tell *you* on a daily basis! :P

Mr. Cow · February 18, 2007, 02:36:34 PM

grats.

i'd love to help you but i work in dairy :mrcow

Sword · February 20, 2007, 11:28:09 AM

First day is saturday. To celebrate, I freestyled the following V for Vendetta style salespitch:
"The sun shines, searing skin and sowing sullen scrutiny on someone's state of stuff. Sanity shreds should such speculation succeed.
So the seeker sojourns to Sears, searching for something stunning to stave off the summer slump. For she: skirts swimsuits and steamers seem to stimulate. He sees saws, spanners, sockets. Somewhere in the sizable store, sales shout at shoppers,supplicating for swift separation from shelved stockades. The Salesman should stop since such sustained silliness, though serving to show a spectrum of spoken skill, shall soon strain.*gasp* Welcome to Sears. What can I help you buy today?"

BentonGrey · February 20, 2007, 11:51:56 AM

Congrats man! Jobs for everybody!

Glitch Girl · February 20, 2007, 07:06:42 PM

Quote from: Sword on February 17, 2007, 09:10:10 AM
After I got the job, I walked the floor to see what kind of wares I'll be selling:
Lawnmowers. Grills. Chainsaws. Blowers.
This is going to be awesome.

Repeat after me Sword...

"I am not Ash. I do not fight zombies with lawn care equipment" ;)

Congrats, and hope that working at Sears is far better than my experiences selling electronics for Campo (BTW: Comission is a racket, just so you know)

Uncle Yuan · February 21, 2007, 05:05:16 AM

I'm glad I'm not the only one who was thinking "Shop smart. Shop S-mart!" ^_^

Sword · February 21, 2007, 05:07:15 AM

Of course I'm not Ash. He works in Housewares.

The Phantom Eyebrow · February 21, 2007, 10:11:12 AM

Nice one Sword. Any job involving chainsaws and grills has to be a good one.