Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 

News:

Happy 2021 !!!


Author Topic: Let me reintroduce myself  (Read 480 times)

Offline Nyte Dragon

  • Superheroine
  • Moderators
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5029
  • Bidet!
Let me reintroduce myself
« on: February 06, 2021, 05:13:04 PM »
 Hi. My name, as far as these boards are concerned, has always been Night Dragon.

 My real name is/was Jerry Lee, I was named after my father and mother (Her name was Geraldine, with the nick name of Gerri). But after everything that has happened recently, I am changing it to Gerri Leah. It's still pronounced the same, the spelling is different. And so am I.

 The thing is I have dysphoria, gender dysphoria.
 
 I am female, I just wasn't born that way.

 And I have scared, terrified actually on how to tell people this. I have no family or friends in this area that I can use for support. I'm scared to come out in that it might cost me my daughter. I would rather suffer the rest of my lifetime in discomfort and anxiety then lose her. And then there's how she would react to this as well.

 And then there's my online friends and my makeshift FR family. As stupid as it sounds, I grew to love the folks I bonded with here as much as any blood family I have. Glitch Girl and Dark Magik have felt as close as either of my sisters, my daughter's middle name came from GG's real name. And then you got G'Day, Grizz, Thunder, both Mikes and all the other guys that I grew close to in our own Haven. Plus all the other friends that still post here, and not knowing how they'll accept this, or not accept this.

 I want to thank Stumpy for listening to me and being supportive and encouraging to me. Alot of this message is cut and pasted from where I told him, it was hard to type it out the first time, so I chickened out a bit by just copying it. I'm still the same Night Dragon, just with different pronouns now (see still crappy jjokes)

 Again, thank you Stumpy for just listening. It was just one reply, but it means the world to me right now. *big hugs*
Hate is always foolish and love is always wise.
 ⁓Doctor Who

Offline Podmark

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 9942
  • meow
    • Hero Force
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2021, 06:08:10 PM »
Hi Night Dragon/Gerri, that must have been very difficult to type and I don't really know to help you in real life, but I'm still happy to have you around here  :)
Get my skins at:
HeroForce
my Google page

Offline SickAlice

  • One-Eyed Willy
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2415
  • I'm of a mind to make some mookie.
    • The Litterbox aka MeanJellybean
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2021, 07:20:20 PM »
Nice to meet you. That's a complicated issue. Well people are complicated of course, always. What it all boils down to though is whether you are doing or at least actively seeking what makes you happy in this short life. Whether other people approve or not is on the backburner and likewise if anything because that mission in life should also be priority for themselves and if it's determined for them by what other people chose to do then they have some soul searching to get to. Hope that helps in anyway.

Offline Deaths Jester

  • Drunken Arse!!
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 4303
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2021, 09:23:29 PM »
I'm with SickAlice, it is less about what others think about it and more about how you feel. As for your daughter and concerning your own fears and all, are you seeing a therapist/psychologist?  They could help you and your daughter out or uc least give you ideas on how to move forward without fear of being a woman in a man's body and how people might or might not react. Just a thought, at least.

You're still the same old scaly dragon wannabe to me.
Avatar picture originally a Brom painting entitled Marionette.

Offline Epimethee

  • Patron god of afterthought
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2834
  • Currently in suspended animation
    • FFX add-on for FFvsTTR
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2021, 09:52:49 PM »
Hi Gerri, thanks for sharing. I, and I believe the whole FR gang, feel honoured in your trust. A dear friend's child is currently going through gender change, so this does resonate.

However, not being able to tell anyone, and fearing losing the love of your daughter… this must be terribly stressful. DJ is right: If you aren’t already seeing a therapist (and one you feel comfortable with), please do find one—you shouldn't face this alone, and you need someone who has the tools to help you go through this as serenely as possible while people get used to updating their perceptions of you.
FFX add-on for FFvsTTR at ffx.freedomforceforever.com

Offline Silver Shocker

  • Snoopers Gonna Snoop
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2976
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2021, 03:00:23 PM »
Hi, I'm glad to hear you feel so comfortable to talk to us here. We should all be so blessed and safe to feel comfortable to talk about important things with people we feel comfortable with.

This post, like so many I've made since this board came back, has been shortened.

In the last two or so years my conclusion about the world is that the world can be a challenging place, but if you look in the right place you'll find acceptance, beauty, kindness and joy. We should all be so lucky to experience such things in our life (and I know I have)

Part of that feeling of feeling safe here...

Quote
And I have scared, terrified actually on how to tell people this. I have no family or friends in this area that I can use for support. I'm scared to come out in that it might cost me my daughter. I would rather suffer the rest of my lifetime in discomfort and anxiety then lose her. And then there's how she would react to this as well.

...is that the internet suffers no fools, but the internet largely does not seem to be peeking in on our secret lair.

I posted on Christmas time that my XMas was unpleasant, and that is because I, too, no longer have people, by and large, in the physical world that make me happy and are my anchor to who I am. I shortened that post, and one of the things in the original post was me calling this community "my real family." I've been able to reassure myself that seeking out conversations and connections, even online, can be very rewarding and helpful. My nephew and I have very recently been corresponding about exchanging X-Mas gifts in February, and it feels very nice, and nostalgic.

For me anyway, It's pretty easy to figure out who's worthy of my time. If I debate with you here, I'm acknowledging that I respect you. It might not always come off that way, but elsewhere on the internet others will receive no response at all. Abuse closes doors.

You seem like the kind of person who would try to make things right with and do right by the people most important to you, and that should always account for something.

Quote
As stupid as it sounds, I grew to love the folks I bonded with here as much as any blood family I have.

I don't think that's stupid. The people I respect and consider worthy of talking to in my life are largely here.  I get my worldview and moral support largely from escapist fiction, and people you've know and spoken to for a long time, even online, can have the leg up on that because they know you personally and speak words meant for you.

Here's one I heard in a cartoon about half a year ago: To experience love, you must be willing to risk pain (meaning upsetting interactions with other people, for clarity's sake)

Quote
Glitch Girl and Dark Magik have felt as close as either of my sisters, my daughter's middle name came from GG's real name.

How delightful.

Quote
And then you got G'Day, Grizz, Thunder, both Mikes and all the other guys that I grew close to in our own Haven. Plus all the other friends that still post here, and not knowing how they'll accept this, or not accept this.

My superhero identity in the early days was as G'Day's sidekick. After high school, he encouraged me to use social media to get in contact with someone I went to high school with. To this day I'm using social media (in this case Facebook) to talk in private to people I know in real life who are worthy of taking the time (my nephew).

I don't believe there are people in this community that would be so close minded, and if there are, not many. You were always going to be accepted here.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2021, 05:44:01 PM by Silver Shocker »
"Unfortunately for you, history will not see it that way."
~Maul, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Siege of Mandalore

Offline Tomato

  • The Original AA
  • Titans
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6271
  • Hufflepuff Pride
    • Hero Force
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2021, 03:25:38 PM »
I know we don't know each other that well, but I'm genuinely happy for you. The internet gets derided a lot for being a place of intolerance and hatred, but I've always felt FR is a pretty quiet, accepting corner. We may bicker over Cap's headwings, but this stuff? S'all good.

Offline Nyte Dragon

  • Superheroine
  • Moderators
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5029
  • Bidet!
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2021, 05:34:07 PM »
😭😄

 Thank you, all of you! You have no idea how much the replies and acceptance means to me. I'm touched truly and deeply.

Hi Night Dragon/Gerri, that must have been very difficult to type and I don't really know to help you in real life, but I'm still happy to have you around here  :)

The support and acceptance is enough.

What it all boils down to though is whether you are doing or at least actively seeking what makes you happy in this short life.

 It's making me feel more comfortable. We're working on happy. ;)

are you seeing a therapist/psychologist?

 I have to have a consultation to see about going through transitioning.

You're still the same old scaly dragon wannabe to me.

 Two things : Wannabe? Pleaseeeee! And also..... old? OLD? Damn whippersnapper!

Hi Gerri, thanks for sharing. I, and I believe the whole FR gang, feel honoured in your trust. A dear friend's child is currently going through gender change, so this does resonate.


I wish them success, support, and happiness. And I feel honored in everyone's acceptance.

 
I know we don't know each other that well, but I'm genuinely happy for you. The internet gets derided a lot for being a place of intolerance and hatred, but I've always felt FR is a pretty quiet, accepting corner. We may bicker over Cap's headwings, but this stuff? S'all good.

 Thanks 'Mato. I always thought of FR as a place I could come to escape the real world in the old days, and I'm so glad the newest (and ongoing) generation of folks here continue that tradition.

Hi, I'm glad to hear you feel so comfortable to talk to us here. We should all be so blessed and safe to feel comfortable to talk about important things with people we feel comfortable.

This post, like so many I've made since this board came back, has been shortened.

This is shortened? jk  :D

Quote

I don't think that's stupid. The people I respect and consider worthy of talking to in my life are largely here.  I get my worldview and moral support largely from escapist fiction, and people you've know and spoken to for a long time, even online, can have the leg up on that because they know you personally and speak words meant for you.

Here's one I heard in a cartoon about half a year ago: To experience love, you must be willing to risk pain (meaning upsetting interactions with other people, for clarity's sake)

 I understand that (the underlined part) deeply. My father wasn't around growing up, and Superman was my father figure. I wanted to be Superman growing up (Supergirl now :lol: ), not because of the powers, but because of morality of the character.

Quote
My superhero identity in the early days was as G'Day's sidekick. After high school, he encouraged me to use social media to get in contact with someone I went to high school with. To this day I'm using social media (in this case Facebook) to talk in private to people I know in real life who are worthy of taking the time (my nephew).

That's cause G'Day was, is, and will always be a good egg and awesome human!

Quote
I don't believe there are people in this community that would be so close minded, and if there are, not many. You were always going to be accepted here.

I believed that too, and you all have confirmed that belief. And as I said before, I thank and love you all for the acceptance, comfort, and support you have shown me. Like my new signature reads "Hate is always foolish and love is always wise."

 I love you all!
Hate is always foolish and love is always wise.
 ⁓Doctor Who

Offline Silver Shocker

  • Snoopers Gonna Snoop
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2976
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2021, 05:59:00 PM »
Quote
Hi, I'm glad to hear you feel so comfortable to talk to us here. We should all be so blessed and safe to feel comfortable to talk about important things with people we feel comfortable.

This post, like so many I've made since this board came back, has been shortened.

This is shortened? jk  :D


Actually, yes.  ;) The original post was a bit too much about myself, which felt inappropriate.

Someone I hung out with high school wrote in my yearbook "You always talked a lot but you were fun to hang out with" That struck me as surprising but I apparently leaned into it. In the physical world the people I've interacted with for many years talk over each other so they don't let you get a full thought out, so that might have something to do with me leaning into it.

Quote

I don't think that's stupid. The people I respect and consider worthy of talking to in my life are largely here.  I get my worldview and moral support largely from escapist fiction, and people you've know and spoken to for a long time, even online, can have the leg up on that because they know you personally and speak words meant for you.

Here's one I heard in a cartoon about half a year ago: To experience love, you must be willing to risk pain (meaning upsetting interactions with other people, for clarity's sake)

 
Quote
I understand that (the underlined part) deeply. My father wasn't around growing up, and Superman was my father figure. I wanted to be Superman growing up (Supergirl now :lol: ), not because of the powers, but because of morality of the character.

Sometimes the people making Superman content even realize that was why people loved the character.

Quote
I don't believe there are people in this community that would be so close minded, and if there are, not many. You were always going to be accepted here.

Quote
Like my new signature reads "Hate is always foolish and love is always wise."

Maybe so. And you can love someone, or at least not hate them, and still want to only surrounded by people who treat you well.

I'm still gonna say I how much I hate certain comic book storylines and such though. I'll carry that burden of being the fool.  :P
« Last Edit: February 07, 2021, 06:10:50 PM by Silver Shocker »
"Unfortunately for you, history will not see it that way."
~Maul, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Siege of Mandalore

Offline Deaths Jester

  • Drunken Arse!!
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 4303
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2021, 06:07:49 PM »
Whippersnapper!?!? You do realize i've been here as long as you have?!? I'm ancient too!

 
Avatar picture originally a Brom painting entitled Marionette.

Offline Nyte Dragon

  • Superheroine
  • Moderators
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5029
  • Bidet!
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2021, 06:49:05 PM »
Check my age on my profile and then talk to me Youngling!

(Also, it's the longest running joke I ever did.... that no one caught.  :doh:)
Hate is always foolish and love is always wise.
 ⁓Doctor Who

Offline daglob

  • Shape-Shifting Silly-Putty Android
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 9672
  • Da Glob
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2021, 07:12:42 PM »
This place and it's members makes for an excellent support group, no matter what the issue. Just be prepared for people to make jokes at you. ;)

Offline Nyte Dragon

  • Superheroine
  • Moderators
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5029
  • Bidet!
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2021, 07:23:28 PM »
Just be prepared for people to make jokes at you. ;)

 Prepared?

 Oh DG, I wish you were around in the early days.

 Dark Magik would kick me in my jibbles. Glich Girl did this to me. The Ultimate Evil and DJ both have tried, and still try, to skin me for a handbag or boots. Mikey, Panther Gunn, G'Day, Grizz, Zapow, Randy, ..... sheesh, damned near everybody still can't accept one thing.

 It is a Mighty, MIGHTY WINGSPAN!

 Prepared? It's a good thing I have scales for skin, I need 'em!  :P
Hate is always foolish and love is always wise.
 ⁓Doctor Who

Offline windblown

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 785
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2021, 08:27:28 PM »
Hi Night Dragon,

We've never talked before and I don't post a lot lately, but I've just read your post and I wanted to say that you're very brave to open up to us. I think that you'll find acceptance and best wishes from all of us  :)

Offline stumpy

  • treselgonian dementialist
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 4440
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2021, 08:49:05 PM »
Night Dragon, I am glad you decided to post. Regardless of what else may change in your life, you have a home and friends here.

And, to everyone else, I don't know if I have ever been more proud to be part of this place.
Courage is knowing it might hurt, and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. And that’s why life is hard. – Jeremy Goldberg

Offline Randomdays

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 924
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #15 on: February 08, 2021, 04:13:29 AM »
 I wish that we were at a point in society where such a thing wouldn't require fear, or courage. When such a statement would get a response of "Good for you!" or a simple "That's nice. Did you see the game last night?" because it will no big deal anymore.

I thought we as a people were further along on that road than we are. But the last 4 years has shown there is a still a lot of hate in the world and we still have a long way to go.

I hope all the best for you. Hopefully your true friends and family will be there to support you when you need it.

There are many good people on this site alone.

Offline Nyte Dragon

  • Superheroine
  • Moderators
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5029
  • Bidet!
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #16 on: February 08, 2021, 05:49:39 AM »

I hope all the best for you. Hopefully your true friends and family will be there to support you when you need it.


 They are, just scroll up and look. :')

 Plus I posted a link to this thread on Cassandra's Facebook page (it was made originally for our D&D game group) and got hugs from Robinka (plus a long sweet chat with her), and a talk with MikeB7, both Zapow and Tort gave me the 'care' and 'like' thingies. (I'm not FB savvy.)
Hate is always foolish and love is always wise.
 ⁓Doctor Who

Offline Silver Shocker

  • Snoopers Gonna Snoop
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2976
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2021, 06:59:21 AM »

I hope all the best for you. Hopefully your true friends and family will be there to support you when you need it.


 They are, just scroll up and look. :')

Robinka (plus a long sweet chat with her)

Oh, I was just thinking about her the other night, she was the best! So glad to hear she's still doing well!  :D

Quote
And, to everyone else, I don't know if I have ever been more proud to be part of this place.

This place coming back in December did wonders for my depression. I don't think I've ever been in a better place in my life, and in late 2020/early 2021 of all times.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2021, 07:00:59 AM by Silver Shocker »
"Unfortunately for you, history will not see it that way."
~Maul, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Siege of Mandalore

Offline Chuckles4099

  • Newbie
  • Posts: 6
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2021, 07:40:55 AM »
Hi Night Dragon, I was never a high profile member, but I'm back to lurking in the background again.
Just wanted to say that I have a high level of respect for everyone on FR.
You do have an enormous amount of your own strength to draw on, and the people on this forum are the greatest group to turn to for support.  :thumbup:

Chuckles

Offline The Phantom Eyebrow

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6163
  • Spectral of Aspect, Hairy of Brow
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #19 on: March 27, 2021, 12:59:09 AM »
Hey there ND and best wishes to you.
As someone who joined the boards slightly after after they started, I remember you as being very supportive and encouraging.  I'm posting with a few drinks on me here but I have a memory of my early days in this forum and not being entirely sure of the etiquette, or indeed how an Internet Discussion Board would even work.  There was a posting games thread (Xorn's apartment I think?) in which I and several others effectively gate-crashed the game.   I may be mis-remembering this but I recall you stepping in and in, no short order, putting a stop to the (unhelpful) nonsense, while also welcoming the likes of me and several others (I think Syn / unfluffy was there too) into the fold.  The more helpful nonsense, if you will. 

Offline Nyte Dragon

  • Superheroine
  • Moderators
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5029
  • Bidet!
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #20 on: March 27, 2021, 01:34:50 AM »
 You're close. It was XStream's Apartment (We even got a t-shirt in the FR store, still) and revolved around X, Grizz, Vage, MJB, Dark Magik, Myself, and Glitch Girl pretty much doing an.... insane super-hero parody of stuff like 'The Real World'. And you probably aren't mis-remembering, I always tried to be as welcoming to newer people as the folks from Freedom Fans were to me.

 God, we have come so far from way back then. This month marks 19 years since FF came out. And the boards are still here, although I do wish that alot of those that used to be regulars here would find their way back. If I could make a FF birthday wish, that would be what I would wish for.
Hate is always foolish and love is always wise.
 ⁓Doctor Who

Offline The Phantom Eyebrow

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6163
  • Spectral of Aspect, Hairy of Brow
Re: Let me reintroduce myself
« Reply #21 on: March 27, 2021, 03:14:25 AM »
I was pretty, pretty, pretty close then... X-[someone]'s apartment.  I had the key letter and the nature of the domicile recollected correctly (well done me) but I realise that, in bigging up my qualities here, it could be interpreted as disrespectful to one, either, or both of Xorn or XStream if they were to think that I had mixed them up with each other or something crazy like that.  That's crazy talk,  though why would you think that?