Every good super hero (or heroine) has a love interest. The girl next door, the boyfriend, the unrequited love, the spouse, the romantic foil - they take many forms, and while they are not super themselves they are often competent, interesting characters in their own right.
But who is the "best?" Here's where we decide!
Hurt and Heal is a group posting game. Each round each player may log one hurt or one heal to any two characters on the list. You must register one hurt and one heal and you may not apply them to the same character. People can join in whenever they like but may vote only once per round. Editorializing is encouraged.
Rounds are somewhat flexible in timing and depend in large part to how many folks respond. If votes are still coming in I will keep the round open, and will call the round when it looks like every one who cares to has voted. UY will be the sole score keeper, time keeper and umpire.
Each character starts with five hit points. Each "hurt" reduces hit points by one, each "heal" increases hit points by one. If a character hits zero or lower at the end of the round they are eliminated. Characters may not accumulate more than ten hit points and any surplus is ignored. The winner is the last one standing!
Our Contestants:
Lois Lane (Superman) 5
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man) 5
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 5
Betty Ross (Hulk) 5
Alicia Masters (Thing) 5
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 5
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine) 5
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 5
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 5
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 5
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 5
Pepper Pots (Iron Man) 5
(I had a lot of trouble coming up with male love interests. There are relatively fewer iconic super heroines, and it seems the majority of them hook up with their super powered peers [Mr. Fantastic/Invisible Woman, Storm/Black Panther]. Even some notable male supers have primarily pursued their female counter parts [Batman/Catwoman, Green Arrow/Black Canary]. I wanted to keep this between "normals," and wanted to focus on iconic, long standing characters. If you have a great suggestion PM me quickly and I'll add them to the list.)
Let the games begin!
Can't think of another non-powered male love interest other than the ones you named.
If it's safe to start playing, I'll begin...
Heal Linda Park
Everybody needs to log one hurt and one heal per round. GG, I will keep your heal - do you have a hurt?
I believe I do
Heal Linda Park
Hurt Mariko Yashida
Technically... neither Betsy Ross nor Pepper Potts are amongst the normal group anymore.
Spoiler
Pepper Potts has her own armor and is technically a cyborg (I think) under the name "Rescue" and Betsy Ross is the Red She Hulk
That said:
Hurt Betsy Ross
Heal Pepper Potts
Heal Pepper Potts
Hurt Linda Park.
Yeah, thats right, Glitch. Its on.
Quote from: Mr. Hamrick on September 29, 2011, 07:20:59 AM
Technically... neither Betsy Ross nor Pepper Potts are amongst the normal group anymore.
Well, by that logic you'd maybe have to exclude Carol Ferris, too (tho I'm not sure what her ring status is these days). And isn't Sharon Carter tied up with S.H.I.E.L.D? But I'm okay with that.
Heal Iris West
Hurt Lois Lane (she deserves it for breaking Clark's heart)
Off topic:
QuoteBetsy Ross is the Red She Hulk
Spoiler
(http://stkp.com/bestyross_redshehulk.jpg)
I know he meant "Betty" but this was too good to pass up
Quote from: Glitch Girl on September 29, 2011, 02:42:16 PM
Off topic:
QuoteBetsy Ross is the Red She Hulk
Spoiler
(http://stkp.com/bestyross_redshehulk.jpg)
I know he meant "Betty" but this was too good to pass up
Ha! That's horrific, in all the right ways.
Heal Alicia Masters
Hurt Louis Lane
That was priceless, GG! :lol:
There was a decent amount of action for kind of a light round. Pulitzer Prize winning Daily Planet journalist Lois Lane was the big looser, while Virginia "Pepper" Potts-Hogan built up a nice lead!
Our Contestants:
Lois Lane (Superman) 3
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man) 5
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 6
Betty Ross (Hulk) 4
Alicia Masters (Thing) 6
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 5
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine) 4
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 5
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 5
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 5
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 5
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 7
Hurt Carol Ferris (simply for that horrible Star Sapphire outfit from Blackest Night)
Heal.. .hmmm lessee.... Linda Park again
Hurt Mary Jane Watson for the whole BND fiasco.
Heal Steve Trevor ... as far as I can remember he's one of the good guys and deserves a break.
Hm, only two replies is a short round. Bump - and anyone else?
Y'know, Glitch Girl, you and I could probably just decide between us who the finalists will be. ;)
UY, the game must go on! Keep it going! The drama will pull the slow, indecisive, and unconcerned in.
We can take out Lois Lane in just three more rounds! Or less!
Blood and gore, we want more!
Er... I mean let's get some more votes in here people! :)
Louis Lane is mysteriously locked in the supplies cupboard, and has a nasty run-in with a stapler. (Hurt)
Betty Ross sews herself a red-white-and-blue tourniquet and gets back in the race. (Heal)
blah! I shouldn't type much while suffering from lack of sleep!
HURT - Linda Park
Heal - Pepper Potts
And PreRaphaelite, who is Louis Lane? That's as bad as my Betsy Ross accident
Quote from: Mr. Hamrick on October 08, 2011, 11:15:56 AM
And PreRaphaelite, who is Louis Lane? That's as bad as my Betsy Ross accident
Haven't you heard? He's the new kid on the block. He enjoys long walks in the park, and catsuits.
Yeah... You're not the only who shouldn't type while suffering from lack of sleep.
Action this round was pretty spread out. Linda Park wind up with no net change, Carol, MJ and Lois all take a hit while Steve, Betty and Pepper all gain strength! Lois Lane, intrepid girl reporter, stands close to elimination while Pepper has built up a sizable lead!
Our Contestants:
Lois Lane (Superman) 2
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man) 4
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 6
Betty Ross (Hulk) 5
Alicia Masters (Thing) 6
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 6
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine) 4
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 4
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 5
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 5
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 5
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 8
Round 3!
For Round 3:
Hurt Betty Ross again!
Heal Pepper Potts again!
Heal Linda Park ('cos I liked her and Wally, even if he doesn't exist anymore in the DCnU)
Hurt Mariko Yashida (for being useless in the Wolverine anime, and for the Wolverine anime in general)
Hurt Wyatt (he annoys me)
Heal Iris
Hurt Sharon Carter (because I can)
Heal Alicia Masters
I really like Pre's format of stating a reason for the hurt/heal and I'm going to try to copy -- erm, emulate this philosophy.
Lois Lane looks up in the sky (for Superman) too quickly and gives herself whiplash. (( Hurt ))
Steve Trevor heroically saves a bag of kittens from drowning and his reward is a kiss from Wonder Woman. (( Heal ))
It's been an exciting round - with the inclusion of Wyatt Wingfoot and Sharon Carter everyone now has some skin in the game! Also, for the first time no votes canceled each other out, meaning everyone tapped moved from last round. Lois now stands on the brink of elimination while Pepper is stronger than ever!
Our Contestants:
Lois Lane (Superman) 1
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man) 4
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 7
Betty Ross (Hulk) 4
Alicia Masters (Thing) 7
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 7
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine) 3
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 4
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 4
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 6
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 4
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 9
Round 4 is the "Lurker Invitational!" First time players will have their votes count DOUBLE this round!
"52" Lois Lane does some incredibly stupid thing like walking up to Darkseid and asking for an exclusive interview. Unfortunately she didn't know Superman was halfway across the galaxy... He's not swooping in to save you this time, lady. (( HURT!!! ))
Sharon Carter gets inspired after watching Cap in action on DVD. (( Heal ))
Paris Hilton tells Carol Ferris that her outfit is tacky (hurt)
Linda Park is nominated for an Emmy for her expose on supervillains and the penal system (heal)
Quote from: Glitch Girl on October 11, 2011, 02:22:05 PM
Linda Park is nominated for an Emmy for her expose on supervillains and the penal system (heal)
GG said "penal system" (huh huh huh huh - in a Beavis and Butthead manner)
In all seriousness... Betty Ross finds out she was played by both Jennifer Connelly and Liv Tyler in movies and decides to hurt herself (HURT)
Sharon Carter realizes (and hopes) that Amanda Righetti might have well been playing her at the end of the Captain America film, which according to IMDB (at one point) might have been who she was playing. (HEAL)
Quote from: BlueBard on October 10, 2011, 02:13:49 PM
I really like Pre...
I knew it. It's my eyes, isn't it? Yep. Definitely my eyes. The best eyes a clone could have
...when spawned with a limited budget and a reduced genepool...Linda Park finds a pocket dimension in her pocket and, tumbling head-over-heels through time and space, suffers from a bout of inter-dimensional travel sickness. (Hurt)
Alicia Masters wins the Turner Prize for a sculpture titled, "PreRaphaelite with fig leaf". (Heal)
Steve Traynor has an affair with Artemis! (hurt)
Carol Ferris discovers that she looks better in a flight suit! (heal)
Quote from: Deaths Jester on October 13, 2011, 05:53:13 PM
Steve Traynor has an affair with Artemis! (hurt)
Carol Ferris discovers that she looks better in a flight suit! (heal)
Googles "Steve Traynor" to try and figure out who you are referring to... oh! You meant Steve TREVOR! :P
Quote from: Mr. Hamrick on October 13, 2011, 10:42:20 PM
Googles "Steve Traynor" to try and figure out who you are referring to... oh! You meant Steve TREVOR! :P
Anyone besides me starting to wonder who would win in a fight between Betsy Ross, Louis Lane, and Steve Traynor?
Quote from: PreRaphaelite on October 13, 2011, 11:20:49 PM
Quote from: Mr. Hamrick on October 13, 2011, 10:42:20 PM
Googles "Steve Traynor" to try and figure out who you are referring to... oh! You meant Steve TREVOR! :P
Anyone besides me starting to wonder who would win in a fight between Betsy Ross, Louis Lane, and Steve Traynor?
My money's on Besty Ross (http://stkp.com/bestyross_redshehulk.jpg). :D
DJ gets into the game, and for accepting the Lurker invitation his votes count double this round!
Lois Lane drops out after being brought to 0! Sharon is the big winner this round but stays towards the middle of the pack, while Pepper holds her lead despite no votes one way or the other this round.
Our Contestants:
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man) 4
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 7
Betty Ross (Hulk) 3
Alicia Masters (Thing) 8
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 5
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine) 3
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 5
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 4
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 6
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 6
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 9
Eliminated:
Lois Lane (Superman)
Round 5!
Mary Jane Watson trembles with fear with the realization that her sins are coming back to haunt her.
Also, she has belatedly realized after all these years that spiders creep her out. (( Hurt ))
Iris West wins the Superhero Spouse of the Year award. (( Heal ))
Mariko Yashida eats some bad blowfish. Ouch. (Hurt)
Steve Trevor finds out he's been voiced by Nathan Fillion. [Heal]
Alicia Masters goes on a night on the town with Ben. Heal.
Wolverine jumps the shark in 1982 (or there'bouts) (and so I refuse to believe she exists). Hurt Mariko Yashida.
Carol Ferris debates on rather its a good thing that Olivia d'Abo voiced her in the DC Animated films but realizes it could be worse. And Blake Lively made a few guys happy playing her in the Green Lantern movie. (heal)
After all... Liv Tyler voiced Betty Ross in a video game as well as playing her in a film. (hurt)
Mary Jane Watson mysteriously gains the ability to transform people into animals. Unfortunately for her, she triggers this ability every time she calls someone 'Tiger', and is subsequently mauled. (Hurt)
Wyatt Wingfoot has a silly name. (Heal)
Oh, the negativity! Both Mariko and MJ take double dings this round and Mariko stands on the Cusp of Elimination, although Betty and MJ are also vulnerable! Meanwhile Alicia has been steadily gaining ground on Pepper and both share the lead with 9 HP each.
Our Contestants:
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man) 2
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 8
Betty Ross (Hulk) 2
Alicia Masters (Thing) 9
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 6
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine) 1
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 6
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 5
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 6
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 6
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 9
Eliminated:
Lois Lane (Superman)
Round 6 includes The Hand of Doom! I will use a random number generator to pick one persons post and double their hurt!
Steve Trevor is still jealous of Mer-Man, who flips sand in his face before hopping off* with Wonder Woman. Hurt.
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_rLV-ZuNPwJ4/SYjbVdlwpBI/AAAAAAAADfk/07m_m8HIdkg/s400/WonderWoman125_07.jpg)
Wyatt reminds Jen that his name is not as silly as "She-Hulk" or Tomazooma, the Death that Walks. Heal.
*Mer-Man hopped on his tail fin when he was on the surface.
Betty Ross realizes that while it's not easy being green that it's harder being red. (Hurt)
Carol Ferris realizes she got off easy in the Green Lantern film as she didn't have to have any CGI done to her. (Heal)
With the death of Peter Parker in the Ultimates universe, that version of MJ is no longer relevant. Thus completing the number of Marvel universes in which MJ is no longer relevant. (( Hurt ))
Iris has a quick date with Barry. She's exhausted but happy. (( Heal ))
Carol Ferris realizes that Hal spends more time with Ollie than her. [hurt]
Wally takes Linda Park out for a romantic french dinner... in Paris. [heal]
Alicia Masters explores the universe, tripping the power cosmic. (Heal)
Carol Ferris is possessed by another alien/supernatural creature, and loses her mind completely. (Hurt)
The Hand of Doom reaches down through PreRaphealite to touch Carol Ferris, but with her previous solid standing she survives her brush with doom. MJ and Betty join Mariko on the critical list while Iris steps up to the first tier. Alicia now has 10hp and until/unless she drops back down any heals will only go to offset hurts from that same round.
Our Contestants:
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man) 1
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 9
Betty Ross (Hulk) 1
Alicia Masters (Thing) 10
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 5
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine) 1
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 4
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 6
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 7
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 6
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 9
Eliminated:
Lois Lane (Superman)
Round 7 - Accelerator! All hurts and heals from all posts are doubled!
Mariko Yashida finds herself involved in yet another arranged marriage (thanks to her father) with yet morecriminal cartel. [Hurt] (yeah I know one of my votes went to waste, but I just wanted the killshot)
Linda Park enjoys the peace and quiet with Wally (at least until one of the editors notices that they're aren't in the DCnU yet) [Heal]
I'm not going to waste my double where it won't count the most... so...
Alicia Masters is on a date with Ben and accidentally calls him 'Johnny' (( Hurt ))
Steve Trevor is awarded the Army Medal of Honor by Congress (( Heal ))
Quote from: BlueBard on October 18, 2011, 02:16:07 PM
Alicia Masters is on a date with Ben and accidentally calls him 'Johnny' (( Hurt ))
OUCH! That was rough. :)
Agent 13 uses her elite SHIELD training to put poor Betty Ross out of her misery. Heal Sharon. Hurt Betty.
Hembeck takes over the Marvel Universe again, and thinks that Marvel gave Mariko a bum rap. (Heal)
And, since he's got a thing for Shulkie, he gives Wyatt a cosmic wedgie. (Hurt)
Alicia Masters gets confused as to why everyone is talking about a power outage as everything looks normal to her. (Hurt)
Pepper Potts watches "Shakespeare in Love" and thinks that she looks a bit like Viola de Lesseps... and likes it. (Heal)
Pepper Potts has a fight with Mrs Potts from Beauty and the Beast over who is the fairest one of all. It doesn't end well – for Pepper. [Hurt]
Alicia Masters makes cheesecake, and thanks to a slightly heightened sense of taste, it's extra delicious. [Heal]
Most of the Accelerator action went to RAISE scores as most of the double hurts where counter balanced by double heals. Mariko manages to hang on for just this reason. Betty does become our second elimination, though. Alicia's surplus score is ignored but she remains on the top of the heap and Linda Park joins the Ladies of the Second Rank.
Our Contestants:
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man) 1
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 9
Alicia Masters (Thing) 10 8
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 7
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine) 1
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 4
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 4
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 9
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 8
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 9
Eliminated:
Lois Lane (Superman)
Betty Ross (Hulk)
edit: math correction. It looks like I counted Alicia's -2 as a +2. Nope, no bias here. After Round & here correct HP is 8. (Thanks, PreR).
Round 8!
Pepper Potts realizes she's been taken over by a Paris Hilton virus. (hurt)
MJ Parker returns to better days of a supermodel/actress, without all the weird skeevy, stalkers. (heal)
Wyatt Wingfoot becomes aware of the fact he's in a hurt and heal competition, so he tracks down Iris West, and sits on her. (Heal Wyatt, Hurt Iris)
(I'm terrible at maths, so I'm probably wrong, but shouldn't Alicia be on 8 this round? I count 2 lots of hurts, and only 1 heal)
And then Wyatt rabbit punches Steve Trevor. Heal Wyatt, Hurt Steve.
Mary Jane knows she's not in the new "Amazing Spider-Man" movie. (( Hurt ))
Steve Trevor knows how to take a punch and sucks it up. (( Heal ))
Since Wyatt got up to punch Steve, Iris gets up and uses what she learned in self-defense class to trip him so he falls... (heal Iris)
...into Mariko, who really should have been paying attention. (hurt Mariko)
(so, is the unofficial brawl round?)
After Wyatt falls over from being tripped into Mariko, Iris follows up with a boot to the head, Phoenix Wright style....
( reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo )
(hurt Wyatt, heal Iris)
Now this is getting interesting!
Obviously this means a lot to these characters! :D
I don't know, some people will do anything to be in the spotlight...! :rolleyes:
A very lively round with four contestants taking multiple hurts AND heals this round. MJ and Steve experience no net change, while Iris and Wyatt both gain ground. With Alicia's corrected score Iris stands alone on the top of the heap. Mariko finally falls!
Our Contestants:
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man) 1
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 10
Alicia Masters (Thing) 8
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 7
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 4
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 5
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 9
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 8
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 8
Eliminated:
Lois Lane (Superman)
Betty Ross (Hulk)
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine)
Round 9 is the counterpart to the earlier Hand of Doom - The Touch of Grace. One post will be randomly chosen to have it's heal doubled this round!
Carol Ferris discovers she has the same stunt double as Princess Vespa (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwV61t_Tec8) (hurt)
Steve Trevor is promoted to four-star general (heal)
Between Kirsten Dunst playing her in the Raimi movies and her not being in the new Spidey movies, Mary Jane just flat out gives up. (hurt)
Pepper Potts celebrates that she didn't have Princess Vespa's stunt double in the Iron Man movies. (heal)
One More Day for MJ?
I don't think so. (( Hurt ))
Pepper gets a cup of coffee... for herself! This lady is not a secretary or eye candy. She's an executive assistant with enough brains to run Stark Industries. (( Heal ))
Linda Park finds out the effects of friction burn in private places! (hurt)
Mary Jane returns to her origianl catty self without all the other baggage! (heal)
Carol Ferris gets distracted by a plastic bag caught in the wind, trips, and grazes her knee. [Hurt]
Wyatt Wingfoot arrives with a plaster, ready to save the day. [Heal]
Steve Trevor burns his tongue while eating a microwave burrito. Wonder Woman won't save his worthless hide this time. (Hurt)
Alicia Masters gives a presentation on the "Great Masters" at Empire State University. Peter Parker takes her picture (Heal) bit JJJ won't buy them.
Mary Jane Watson (sometimes) Parker finally falls after hanging on by her beautifully manicured fingernails for several rounds! PreRaphaelite has his heal doubled this round, giving Wyatt a double up. Pepper also gains two and joins Iris on the top of the heap. Carol Ferris has the most damaging round, which is only to be expected after being exposed as Deadpool's girlfriend.
Our Contestants:
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 10
Alicia Masters (Thing) 9
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 7
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan) 2
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 7
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 8
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 8
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 10
Eliminated:
Lois Lane (Superman)
Betty Ross (Hulk)
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine)
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man)
Down to eight, and with the exception of Sharon Carter most of our remaining contestant are in pretty strong shape. So I suppose it makes this round's Special especially appropriate, because Round 10 features . . .
The Poison Apple (dun dun duuuuuun)! One randomly selected heal this round will not be a heal, but instead will be a poison trap in the guise of a delicious, crisp fall apple and will inflict 5 points of damage!
"Hey, no hard feelings about our little dust-up," Steve Trevor tells Wyatt. "In fact, here's a peace offering: Have an apple!" (( Heal Wyatt ))
Hal's a no-show for a date... Again. (( Hurt Carol ))
After Hal's no-show, Carol drowns her sorrows in Haagen Dazs, and later discovers her costume won't fit anymore. (hurt)
Pepper Potts feels relieved that she only had a cameo in the Iron Man anime (which was worse than the Wolverine one IMO)
Alicia agrees to make a statue of Carol (heal Alicia) for the lobby of Ferris Aircraft, but the statue is kind of chunky, like Carol (hurt). Not a feeel-good moment.
Wyatt Wingfoot is not the forgiving type. He happily munches down the apple, then throws the core at Steve's head, which rebounds with a clunk: "Ow, that really hurt."
[Hurt Steve, heal Wyatt]
Sharon Carter invites Linda Park over to watch the festivities and serves some slight overdone homeade Apple Pie. (Heal)
Linda mistakes the pie for Apple Brown Betty but eats it anyway and gets a bit sick. (hurt)
Clearly everyone got some sort of apple this round, but, alas, only Alicia got the Poison Apple. Carol Ferris goes down under a wave of pain (three hurts!!) becoming the fifth elimination of the game. Iris and Pepper hold on to their top spots while Wyatt and Sharon move up to the second tier (just vacated by Alicia!).
Our Contestants:
Iris West (Flash - Barry Allen) 10
Alicia Masters (Thing) 4
Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman) 6
Wyatt Wingfoot (She-Hulk) 9
Linda Park (Flash - Wally West) 7
Sharon Carter (Captain America) 9
Pepper Potts (Iron Man) 10
Eliminated:
Lois Lane (Superman)
Betty Ross (Hulk)
Mariko Yashida (Wolverine)
Mary Jane Watson (Spider-man)
Carol Ferris (Green Lantern - Hal Jordan)
In keeping with the spirit of the season* I'm going to try something completely different to wrap things up. It's . . .
A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! Lois Lane rises from the dead! That's to be expected, this is comics after all! But not like this, for she has become the first of the walking dead.
The final rounds will be structured differently - as a sudden death play off. Each player will write a SHORT vignette (2-3 sentences) describing how Zombie Lois (or, in subsequent rounds, the growing zombie horde) attacks and kills any one of the remaining contestants. The walking dead will attack and eat anyone, so from this point relative health really doesn't matter. Anyone can participate, so any lurkers interested are welcome to throw their hat into the ring. Once it looks like I have all the submissions for gruesome zombie death for the round I will open up the voting. For approx 24 hours anyone may register their vote for the winning (loosing?) submission to me via PM. Anyone may vote (readers included), but everyone may only vote once. Ties may result in a double death, or be broken by me at my whim.
Go get 'em, Lois!
*That would be the start of the second season of the Walking Dead.
I can't stand zombie-mania, absolutely detest zombie cannibal stories, so I'm going to be the spoilsport and bow out at this point.
I got what I wanted, which was to erase "52" Lois and "BND" MJ from my own personal continuity. I'll always remember the versions of those characters I really enjoyed, who were the real love interests of two of my favorite super heroes.
I will say that, had the voting continued on, I would've stuck up for Pepper -- even though she's not exactly a girlfriend, she's still the kind of woman I admire: she's a woman of integrity and the man in her life simply can't do without her.
Wyatt stared in horror at the decaying form lurching towards him groaning as it shuffled closer and closer.
"Lois?" he gaped. "Lois Lane? Is that..? Is that you?"
The walking corpse swayed slightly, staring at him. Then it smiled.
"Wyatt Wingfoot, isn't it? Yes, I think I remember you. You were with Jennifer Walters when I interviewed her for the Planet."
"Yes, that's right," he said, continuing to stare. "I barely recognized you. How..?"
"Oh this?" She sighed. "Perry wanted someone to do an insider's piece on the Slouching Dead, and I'm doing it because Cat cashed in all her favors since she wasn't about to set foot in the makeup tent."
"Yeah, that makeup...it looks..."
"Disgusting?"
"I was going to say amazing... but in this case, I guess it's the same thing."
The both laughed.
"What about you?" Lois asked with an inquisitive wink. "Don't tell me the Sensational She-Hulk is going to be guesting."
"Sorry Ms Lane. I'm here on my own. There was a charity auction to be an extra on the show, and since I'm a big fan-"
"ALL RIGHT PEOPLE," the PA's voice boomed through the bullhorn, "ZOMBIES, LINE UP ALONG THE BLUE TAPE FOR INSTRUCTION. HUMANS, WE'RE READY FOR YOU IN MAKEUP. LET'S GO!"
“Guess that’s our cues.”
Lois nodded. “Tell Ms. Walters if she ever wants to give an exclusive about her heroing career-”
“-”I’ll make sure she talks to you first.”
----
“ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS GOOD PEOPLE, LET’S SET IT UP AND DO IT AGAIN. ZOMBIES, VICTIMS, TO YOUR MARKS.”
Despite the fact he was supposed to “die” again in a few minutes (and probably several more times, depending on retakes) Wyatt was having a great time. He’d already gotten to meet some of the cast (albeit in passing), and the rest of the extras made him feel right at home.
“...ZOMBIE 12, I WANT YOU TO SWITCH VICTIMS WITH ZOMBIE 18,” the director’s voice boomed as he organized the chaos for another take. “ZOMBIE 5, LURCH A LITTLE FASTER THIS TIME. VICTIM 2, DROP THE SHOTGUN JUST AS THEY BREAK THE DOOR DOWN, NOT LATER. LET’S SEE HOW THAT LOOKS. EVERYONE READY?”
His instructions had been simple, fire some blanks a few times while backing away as zombies burst through the defenses and go down as soon as the nearest zombie got to him.
“...SPEED...AND...ACTION!”
And so it began again, the “ragtag group of survivors” were once more decimated as their defenses were breached by the “seemingly unstoppable hoards of the dead”. For something so bleak, it was surprisingly fun. Wyatt fired a few times, trying to hold his ground as the “undead” surged forward and prepared to meet his end at... well, it used to be Zombie 12 (who introduced himself as Bob after one of the previous takes).
This time...
The Lois zombie was rapidly lurching towards him, arms outstretch, black ichor dripping from her mouth.
Ah. Zombie 18, small world, he thought, as per direction, he backed away as she closed in, the gun clicking uselessly, empty of blanks...
At least until his foot landed awkwardly on something hard. He leg started to twist and pain shot through his knee as he pitched backwards, landing hard on the ground, just as Zombie-Lois moved in for the kill...
---
“No really, I’m fine. I’m -gggnn-just fine!”
“You’re not fine Mr. Wingfoot,” the medic said flatly. “I’m afraid you may have torn a few ligaments when you fell. We’ll need to take you to County General to make sure.”
He wanted to argue, but the relentless throbbing in his leg told him that something serious was wrong, thanks to the shotgun he’d tripped over. He wondered how much of the take was usable since Lois broke character as soon as she noticed something was wrong and started yelling for a medic.
Sadly though, it looked like his chance to be on his favorite show was effectively dead.
(for the record, I'm not much of a zombie fan either ;) )
EDIT: I know it's more than the 2-3 sentences, but the sequence was too fun to stop writing at just a few words.
-OCD Glitch Girl
Brilliant, GG!... Absolutely, totally, a wonderfully creative spin on the assignment.
Somebody else might well come up with a more grisly version, but I bet nobody comes up with one more clever.
You got my vote.
GG - great entry!
But . . . other folks, please don't feel you need to match her word count. I specified short vignettes because I don't want to intimidate folks who may not feel up to writing something so involved. The typical bits we've been seeing here so far were more what I had in mind.
I too don't care for zombie mania. GG's story in my mind wraps up the round even though I was firmly in Wyatt's corner.
[poke] Just checking.
Well, I wasn't really going to say or do anything this round as I wasn't extremely inspired, and it's been a bit hectic around here of late. Still, I can't let this round end on an "eh, that'll do" note, so I managed to gather together a few minutes to make something up (although, on reflection, I clearly had no idea where I was going – as usual).
Quote from: BlueBard on October 11, 2011, 01:03:04 PM
"52" Lois Lane does some incredibly stupid thing like walking up to Darkseid and asking for an exclusive interview. Unfortunately she didn't know Superman was halfway across the galaxy... He's not swooping in to save you this time, lady. ((The final HURT!!! ))
Why did she do it? All Louis had wanted was a good story, a classic interview: the type of in-depth, hard-hitting interview she was known for. She would blow away everything people thought they knew, and no doubt win yet another award. Unfortunately, thanks to Darkseid, that award had become her memorial, and now? Now Louis was angry... and hungry. Mainly angry. "Darkseid!"
"Excuse me?"
"Darkseid!"
"No, no. Carter. Cahr-tehr. Or Sharon – Sharon will do fine."
"Darkseid! Daahrkseydd!"
Sharon sighed. It had been three weeks since the lab techs had dragged this thing from some otherworldly dimension. Three weeks probing decomposing flesh, first with scalpels, then with cattle prods; asking questions day and night; using telepaths, empaths, technopaths, psychopaths and pathogens, and still the only thing they knew about the creature was that it had, at one point, been a woman, and that for some reason it was obsessed with the dark side. Trust her to get saddled with an inter-dimensional Star Wars nerd. And my goodness did it smell.
Oh great, it was staring at her again.
Sharon rifled through a pack of alphabet cards and then reluctantly held up an illustration of a lemon. "Lemon. Leh-mon."
"Darkseid," the corpse replied, stubbornly.
"Man," Sharon flashed a picture of a strangely buff man with slick, dark hair and thick-rimmed glasses. The corpse twitched, the first response anyone had seen since its arrival.
"Yes. Yes, that's right. Man. Ma-an." The card in hand, Sharon drew closer to the corpse, keeping an eye out for any unusual changes in its behaviour. Suddenly, and without any real or legitimate explanation, the creature slipped free from its bonds, squeezed its decaying body between the bars, and was legging it out of the cell at an unearthly speed before Sharon could even drop the alphabet card and draw her gun.
"Claaarkseid!" it cawed as it fled.
"No! Bad corpse, bad!" and Sharon took off in pursuit.
--
By the time Sharon found the corpse, it had already made its way back to the lab and the inter-dimensional transporter through which it had arrived. Somehow it had managed to disguise itself, sneak past thirteen guards, bypass the mainframe, open three complicated locking mechanisms and obtain the access codes for two highly restricted areas without anyone but Sharon being any the wiser – as if the corpse had at one point been a spy, or worse, a reporter.
"Stop where you are!" Sharon raised her firearm in the direction of the corpse.
"Darkseid!" it gargled loudly, and before Sharon could sigh, swear, or build a birdhouse, buttons were pressed, and wires were fiddled with.
"I said stop that!" but it was already too late. The whole of the room swam and sank, span and swirled, and it was all Sharon could do to keep her lunch from resurfacing.
When at last she looked up, there was the corpse, unmoved and unmoving, but they were certainly no longer in the clinical environment of the lab. Across a rocky landscape, a rather odd looking man stood someway in the distance. He was enormous, grey and dour. His head was furrowed to the point that it resembled a peach stone or a prune, and his eyes, they seemed to be glowing.
"DARKSEID!" the corpse wailed on sighting the man, and instantly began a lengthy charge towards him, its mouth open wide. Sharon raised her gun, firing precise shots at the corpse in a vain attempt to stop its mad rush. Unfortunately for her, the bullets only passed harmlessly through the creature, to impact with an ineffectual 'chink' against the body of the grey man.
The man's eyes traced the flight of the bullets back to where Sharon stood. He stared at her now with as much disinterest as he showed the charging corpse. His gaze seemed to root her to the spot, making it impossible to turn away. Away from the bright light of those glowing, red eyes. How deep the red, and how intense the shine...
Bump? They're not all dead yet.
BTW: Yuan, if real life is keeping you busy (being the holidays and all), would you mind if I ran it for a bit?
I have nothing for the "zombie apocalypse" round.
that kinda lost my interest
Quote from: Glitch Girl on December 01, 2011, 02:43:04 AM
Bump? They're not all dead yet.
Wow, somebody's out for blood! :P
Quote from: PreRaphaelite on December 01, 2011, 11:37:29 PM
Quote from: Glitch Girl on December 01, 2011, 02:43:04 AM
Bump? They're not all dead yet.
Wow, somebody's out for blood! :P
MWHAHAAHAHAAAAA!! :twisted:
(actually, I just was curious how this game would finally resolve)