Darwin Award-Dishonorable Mentions 2018

[daglob]

Some gentlemen were out looking for something to do last week and decided to burgle a house. They enjoyed it so they went back this week. The owner was home, this time, though, and he was a retired Marine. He was also armed. Four of them are in the hospital. They were shot after the homeowner was wounded.

Reminds me of two things, one here one someplace else. We have a raised expressway over Mobile Bay, part of Interstate 10. A few years back, one of the local football stars was driving across the Bayway at a "high rate of speed". As he did this, a rifle in his front seat "kept flopping back and forth and seemed to point at the other drivers in what they may have believed to be a threatening manner". When the man got to the other side of the Bay, what looked like every cop in Baldwin County was waiting there for him. He was removed from his car, and before he was hauled away, another car pulled up. It seems as though one of the drivers at whom the rifle pointed at in what may have seemed to be a threatening manner was occupied by the head of the local FBI, and he had a cell phone.

Within a couple of days, either in old Virginia or West Virginia, there was a news item that a trio of "good ole boys" had picked a fight with a skinhead. It turned out the "skinhead" was a Navy SEAL home on leave. Guess who won?

[BentonGrey]

Wow, that's an impressive list of stupid! 

[daglob]

Kind of an odd follow up to the guys and the Marine: the break-in the previous week may have been to see how long it took for the police to show up. This gave them an idea of how long they had. They shot the homeowner with a shotgun, but didn't get center mass. The Marine didn't need to...

[daglob]

Okay, the police stopped a car her because it had a broken tail light. They decided that the driver looked a little suspicious, so they questioned him. Once out of the car they could detect a certain air about him, so hey searched his car and found that he was hauling drugs.

He looked suspicious because he had a pasty white face and green hair.

[kkhohoho]

Okay, the police stopped a car her because it had a broken tail light. They decided that the driver looked a little suspicious, so they questioned him. Once out of the car they could detect a certain air about him, so hey searched his car and found that he was hauling drugs.

He looked suspicious because he had a pasty white face and green hair.

Your city needs a new class of criminal.

[daglob]

I'm afraid we might be getting one.

[Deaths Jester]

Before anyone decides to drag me into this one...it wasn't me.

[daglob]

No, no, of course not: it wasn't booze they smelled.

Besides, I didn't think you had hair.

[Deaths Jester]

I some times forget to knock all the grass off when I unearth...

[BentonGrey]

Hahaha!  What in the world?!