The worst movie you ever saw... Necroposting

Started by daglob, March 05, 2017, 01:23:17 AM

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kkhohoho

Watched The Room. No doubts about it. One of the worst movies I've ever seen.

...

It was beautiful. :thumbup:
The Golden Age; 'A different look at a different era.'

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1089779/chapters/2193203

daglob

But what was it, the dismal acting (or lack thereof), shoddy production values, off-key non-melodic soundtrack, an abundance of "Ugly" (see the movie "Kansas City Confidential"; Neville Brand, Jack Elam, and Lee Van Cleef, all in one movie), a script written by a kindergartner, what?

kkhohoho

Quote from: daglob on February 20, 2018, 05:49:34 AM
But what was it, the dismal acting (or lack thereof), shoddy production values, off-key non-melodic soundtrack, an abundance of "Ugly" (see the movie "Kansas City Confidential"; Neville Brand, Jack Elam, and Lee Van Cleef, all in one movie), a script written by a kindergartner, what?

Everything. It isn't just that it's bad. It's awkwardly bad. It's like looking into some delusional state of reality, and the result is both mystifying and hilarious.
The Golden Age; 'A different look at a different era.'

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1089779/chapters/2193203

daglob

Deciding they couldn't compete with the Academy Award, Comet-TV decided to put on a display of movies that never had a chance to be nominated... because they were bad. See if you recognize any of the titles off this list:

Troll 2
Eegah!
Mac and Me
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Garbage Pail Kid Movie.


Silver Shocker

I remember Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, I've actually seen the Garbage Pail Kids Movie (I didn't really like it) and Troll 2 is pretty infamous for being So Bad It's Good: "They're eating her. And then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD!!!"
"Now you know what you're worth? Then go out and get what you're worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers, saying you're not where you want to be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that, and THAT AIN'T YOU. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!"
~Rocky Balboa

daglob

Reviving this for one reason, really. Comet has become an outlet for a lot of TV shows, and has lost a lot of its' charm, but today they are running a Valentine's Day marathon, and Mars Needs Women is among them. I decided to look up Tommy Kirk and he had a quote that I find amusing:

"Larry Buchannan is like a cinematic serial killer, and he should be stopped before he kills again."

Pretty much sums it up.

Kirk does say that Buchannan was a nice guy and great to work with.

HarryTrotter

''Even our origin stories have gone sour.''
Jon Farmer

GhostMachine

Is The Room `Plan 9 From Outer Space' bad, or `Why would anyone willingly watch this crap?!' bad?


HarryTrotter

''Even our origin stories have gone sour.''
Jon Farmer

HarryTrotter

The Predator.And not an amusing chessy 80's homage way I expected.Its just bad.
Not only does it f*ck up Predator lore,it also thinks that autism is the next step in the human evolution.And likes to reminds us that Predators have EXOskeletons UNDER the skin.And they still have the HUD and heat vision without the mask.I could go on,but I think...Predator dogs,motherfunting Predator dogs.
And worst of all,it ends with the same sequel hook as Pacific Rim Uprising and Independence Day Resurgance.And the Predator dogs,mother...sorry,I just cant get over that one.
''Even our origin stories have gone sour.''
Jon Farmer

daglob

So... I take it you didn't like it?

I have my doubts about The Twilight Zone reboot. Too often the people doing the reboots decide they can fix what was not broken in the first place (I know, I harp on this a lot, but it happens A LOT!!).

I think in the original Predator they did see in infra-red; the one in Predator II used the helmet to shift to a different frequency (U/V?) so he could see in the freezer. No HUD when the original one lost his helmet, though.

Predator dogs...

GhostMachine

The problem with the Twilight Zone reboot is that a very big chunk of the original writers are deceased, not just Rod Serling. The reboot of The Outer Limits reboot that ran mid-90's to early 2000s worked because a lot of the writers from the original series were still alive and worked on it. So even though I won't be watching (I'm not paying for CBS All-Access any time soon, if at all/ever), my best guess is that it will feature a lot of remakes of old scripts from the original or stories by new authors that pale in comparison quality-wise and may not even fit the concept properly. Namely stories that Serling would toss in the trash if he was still alive.

I've no desirw to watch STAR TREK: DISCOVERY or the new version of THE TWILIGHT ZONE. My interest may be piqued when Picard's new series airs, but I doubt it. THE ORVILLE fills my STAR TREK needs enough, even though it isn't really STAR TREK. And I'm not a fan of the Kelvin timeline.

Silver Shocker

Quote from: HarryTrotter on March 24, 2019, 09:04:14 PM
The Predator.And not an amusing chessy 80's homage way I expected.Its just bad.
Not only does it f*ck up Predator lore,it also thinks that autism is the next step in the human evolution.And likes to reminds us that Predators have EXOskeletons UNDER the skin.And they still have the HUD and heat vision without the mask.I could go on,but I think...Predator dogs,motherfunting Predator dogs.
And worst of all,it ends with the same sequel hook as Pacific Rim Uprising and Independence Day Resurgance.And the Predator dogs,mother...sorry,I just cant get over that one.

I've heard in reviews that the new Predator was heavily reedited and reshot and such before release. Though, like Suicide Squad and Justice League, there was no guarantee the original one was going to be any good anyway.
"Now you know what you're worth? Then go out and get what you're worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers, saying you're not where you want to be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that, and THAT AIN'T YOU. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!"
~Rocky Balboa

HarryTrotter

http://whatculture.com/film/the-predator-18-wtf-moments?page=6
And the definite crowning scene.Description doesnt do it justice,this needs to be seen.I s*it you not.  :lol:
Seems like another case where doing nothing would yield better result.Have a group of bada$$es.Predator hunts them.All you have to do.
And Predator dogs.With dredlocks.Im sorry but I cant process that.  :huh:

Im glad people here like Orville,btw.
''Even our origin stories have gone sour.''
Jon Farmer

SickAlice

The Addiction is making my top ten for sure. The movie was enticing, it has vampires, deals with addiction and a decent line-up connected to the early Tarantino stuff. At least that's what the ad says. It has the word vampire more like it and is a straight up PSA just like you watched in high school and just as terrible but with a wasted budget. That's all it is. There is one enjoyable scene only and it's Christopher Walken taking about pooping. But again you can just as well watch that online and spare yourself the trouble. In fact I'll save you the time.

https://ytcropper.com/cropped/K65d0189cd14194

And yeah, that last Predator was a big dud. Trying to pretend it never happened.

daglob

Nightmare Theater tonight has a movie entitled "Warning From Space". It is a pretty dismal movie, the only interesting thing about it is that a bunch of Starros are running around...

BentonGrey

Shame there's not a JLA to fight them, ha.

I just rewatched the MST3K version of the The Crawling Terror, and MAN was that bad.  It's up there in the worst of the MST3K movies.
God Bless
"If God came down upon me and gave me a wish again, I'd wish to be like Aquaman, 'cause Aquaman can take the pain..." -Ballad of Aquaman
Check out mymods and blog!
https://bentongrey.wordpress.com/

daglob

I first heard of that movie in one of the "Golden Turkey Award" books. The story behind it is interesting, as I remember, and the makers of the movie were quite ingenious. It didn't help, but otherwise it would have been a lot worse.

BentonGrey

God Bless
"If God came down upon me and gave me a wish again, I'd wish to be like Aquaman, 'cause Aquaman can take the pain..." -Ballad of Aquaman
Check out mymods and blog!
https://bentongrey.wordpress.com/

SickAlice

Still leaning towards Leonard Part 6 for the bottom rung. It's like the film Terrorvision. My old roommate funded that movie and the only reason it happened was because the people that made it wanted to make a movie in their life, they didn't care what it was about or if it was good. Leonard Part 6 was that. Cosby wanted to make a movie and I can imagine after being told his ideas were stupid got heated and they just let him put whatever he pleased in that script, it was his money anyways. Difference of course here is his had a budget and a big studio backing it yet turned out worse and less redeemable than Terrorvision did.

SuperPoweredYank

Pillow of Death is probably the worst I've seen that wasn't on MST3K. It spends the whole movie following a man (played by Lon Chaney Jr.) who's been accused of murder. He then sets out to prove his innocence, all the while the voice of his supposed victim taunts him, claiming he did kill her. But then... (Incoming spoilers for a 70+ year old film)
Spoiler
...it just turns out he did commit the murder and was just so crazy he didn't remember. He then goes back to being crazy and jumps out the window to his death. I'm convinced they only included this twist for the sake of having a twist ending.
The whole movie just ends up being a meaningless waste of time because of this.

I should note I haven't seen a whole lot of truly terrible films.

daglob

Quote from: SuperPoweredYank on September 09, 2019, 04:04:28 AM
Pillow of Death is probably the worst I've seen that wasn't on MST3K. It spends the whole movie following a man (played by Lon Chaney Jr.) who's been accused of murder. He then sets out to prove his innocence, all the while the voice of his supposed victim taunts him, claiming he did kill her. But then... (Incoming spoilers for a 70+ year old film)
Spoiler
...it just turns out he did commit the murder and was just so crazy he didn't remember. He then goes back to being crazy and jumps out the window to his death. I'm convinced they only included this twist for the sake of having a twist ending.
The whole movie just ends up being a meaningless waste of time because of this.

I should note I haven't seen a whole lot of truly terrible films.

That was an Inner Sanctum movie. They were all uneven and often a little weird. I believe they also had the taking head in the crystal ball.

daglob

Quote from: Deaths Jester on September 09, 2019, 03:23:03 PM
The head in the ball was also used in the tele version of Night Gallery...

As for junk movies...I've got a whole list of them...

I looked it up; this was the last Inner Sanctum movie, and they did not use the "head in the ball" for it. All the others did, though. A couple of those movies have shown up on Svengoolie and he makes fun of it.

SuperPoweredYank

Quote from: daglob on September 09, 2019, 05:52:50 PM

A couple of those movies have shown up on Svengoolie and he makes fun of it.
Yeah that's where I saw it. I only watched it because I was curious about the Inner Sanctum movies. Even Sven complained about the ending when it was over.

daglob

Quote from: daglob on February 16, 2018, 01:45:47 AM
Resurrecting this thread...

Tonight on Comet they have a double blasphemy: a Larry Buchanan double feature: "It's Alive" and :"Creature of Destruction", both with the same cheapo monster.

Oh, no... "Creature" has a song about... Batman?

https://monstermoviemusic.blogspot.com/2008/03/creature-of-destruction-max-lipscomb.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlRYLG40N2M

UnkoMan

Quote from: SickAlice on June 12, 2019, 11:26:25 PM
The Addiction is making my top ten for sure. The movie was enticing, it has vampires, deals with addiction and a decent line-up connected to the early Tarantino stuff. At least that's what the ad says. It has the word vampire more like it and is a straight up PSA just like you watched in high school and just as terrible but with a wasted budget. That's all it is. There is one enjoyable scene only and it's Christopher Walken taking about pooping. But again you can just as well watch that online and spare yourself the trouble. In fact I'll save you the time.

I was going to rant about how actual bad movies are the ones so boring that no amount of wobbly pops and jokes can make them better, and you literally have to stop in the middle because it's just so nothing...

But instead I just want to say, The Addiction is dope as hell. I love that film.

Silver Shocker

#116
More necroposting I suppose. I watched a movie the other night that I hated so intensely that I feel the need to vent it out into the world for someone to hear and hopefully, get some enjoyment out of reading.

I just watched Tenet, the latest Christopher Nolan film and the big movie release of the second half of 2020. The movie that had a massive marketing campaign (in addition to tv ads, I saw many ads for it in a few mobile games I play on my tablet; this is also the case for Wonder Woman 1984) and which made headlines because Nolan insisted HAD to be seen in theaters.

From what I read online, it received a positive reaction from film critics and general audiences alike, and for those who enjoyed it, I'm happy for all of you out there.

My personally, I hated it. White-hot-rage-hated it.

I was profoundly disappointed by Mister Chris Nolan, as I expect, far, FAR better from him. I consider it the worst film I've ever seen, with the exception of one or two other films I won't mention because their subject matter can be a sensitive subject. It was, no doubt, the most disappointing film I've ever seen.  More so than Men in Black 2 ("a joyless cash-in"), MIB International, Suicide Squad, Birds of Prey, Justice League Dark: Apokalypse War, Anchorman 2 (not that there ever WAS an Anchorman 2, of course). My reasoning for this that I consider all of those to be actual films. I do not acknowledge Tenet as a Nolan film OR a actual film for numerous notable reasons, all of which I'll mention below. I watched the film with my father, and made a point to ask him what he thought of the film and he said "It wasn't very good. It was hard to follow." A good appraisal.

The film's gimmick is an effect where things are depicted as happening in reverse, which is shown heavily in the marketing, but appears very sparingly in the film itself until the final act, I found it unimpressive throughout. It's not a terribly interesting gimmick to start with, and IMO I didn't find the effect so impressive. Apparently the people involved with making the film were proud of the effects, and worked very hard on stunts to simulate the effect. This baffles and angers me, as the effect is so straight-forward and unimpressive they might as well have done the stunts the conventional way and just played the footage in reverse, which is what I originally assumed they did.

The pacing on this film is atrocious, with a relentlessly slow paced opening act and almost the entire film consisting of exposition and setup. You could be snarky and say that's Nolan for you, but I say this is crap by ANY metric. When I had this thing on I was thinking "This is really dull." After about 20 minutes or so I was saying I was waiting for the "actual movie" to start, and by the time the credits rolled, I felt like I had waited the entire movie's length for it to get going without it ever happening.

Characters spend almost the entire film going from location to location (some of which I got the feeling may have been added in with greenscreen/digital effects) to meet with and talk to characters in an terribly inefficient attempt to explain the plot. This results in a cameo early in the flick that I'm convinced has to be the laziest cameo I have ever seen in any film.

Spoiler
The great Micheal Kaine, who of course played Alfred in Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy and has fulfilled the Nolan tradition of having actors appear in multiple films made by him, phones it in by showing up on screen sitting at a table in a restaurant, delivering exposition to our protagonist (who, by the way, is never named). He never gets up, doesn't move from his seat at all, and does nothing but delivering his lines in a dry, bored tone, and then after about two minutes the scene ends. You could have had any actor, or even Nolan himself, do that part and it would have made no difference. The protagonist might as well have just read the information in text form.

The fight scenes in this are a joke. We have fights scenes that aren't even on par for a CW Arrowverse show like Arrow, a Marvel Netflix show like Daredevil or even Iron Fist. Our main character has a melee fight with a single nameless enemy decked out in full riot gear, presumably played by a stuntman each time, a few times throughout the flick for about a minute or so each. We also have the car chase scene from the trailer, which isn't even as intense or exciting as the kind of car chase scenes we've seen in films a million times over. The closest thing this snosefest gets to a wow moment is a car flipping over, something that was done better in, among other films, Die Hard 5 of all things.

This film has exactly one saving grace, other than the moment the credits-on-black finally pop up. And that is, of course, the great Kenneth Brannagh, who plays a Russian mobster (because of course he is) and is here to do one thing and precisely one thing only: ham it up like it is his sole purpose in life, and bless him, he does it with gusto. He chews every inch of the scenery for almost every frame he's onscreen, and it's the only time this thing has any kind of energy. Any time he's not on screen I found myself awaiting the next time he shows up. If I  heard him say he hammed it up because he could tell this thing was going to be dull, I would absolutely believe it. During the otherwise worthless car chase scene, a car pulls up in the background with him visible through the window, and he manages to mug for the camera without even saying anything. It's all quite the showing and a highlight reel of his material on Youtube would far preferable to watching the full movie. Sadly, the moment when he is written out of the film, near the end of the film, is so abrupt and underwhelming it feels like a giant middle finger on the screen pointed at me for enjoying his role exclusively.

I've heard this film compared to another Nolan film, Inception, and I reject the notion. As far as I'm concerned, comparing this piece of junk to Inception is a grave insult to Inception, which is not only a very good film, but is far more entertaining than this film and better than it in every possible way. I'd compare this to a fan film, but that's also an insult to fan films too, as those are pretty consistently interesting and have a sense of fun and energy to them. I've heard repeatedly that you need to watch this film more than once to understand it, and I can't imagine myself ever doing so because I didn't like it to begin with, and I don't think it's likely I'd enjoy it on a repeat viewing.

I'll always give Nolan credit for making movies he's passionate about, he's no hack, but I sure hope the next film that comes out from him that I end up watching is more fun than this was.
"Now you know what you're worth? Then go out and get what you're worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers, saying you're not where you want to be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that, and THAT AIN'T YOU. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!"
~Rocky Balboa

HarryTrotter

From the recent-ish movies that I found massively overhyped- Knives Out. It was hyped as this old-school Poirot-like murder mystery,but its not even a parody. Breakdowns of the movie on yt are longer then the actual movie,so I don't feel like typing out all the things that make no sense or where everyone acts like a complete idiot so the plot could happen. Main gimmick of the movie is that the MC barfs whenever she lies. And now you probably guessed two "twists" of the movie. Also Daniel Craig does a Kentucky accent whole time,and its just hilarious.
''Even our origin stories have gone sour.''
Jon Farmer

Silver Shocker

I haven't bothered to watch that, so I don't know if I'd like it, but I have seen people online who didn't care for one of the director's other movies say they were pleasantly surprised by it. I'm a bit curious where I'd fall in myself.
"Now you know what you're worth? Then go out and get what you're worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers, saying you're not where you want to be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that, and THAT AIN'T YOU. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!"
~Rocky Balboa

Tomato

So I don't tend to watch a lot of bad movies, but next week-ish my IRL friends are going to be compiling a list of "bad" movies that we're going to whittle down to a more manageable watch session. They tend to be "so bad it's funny" kinda films, but I know these are on the table:

Avatar TLA
The Room
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (not my pick)
Dragonball Evolution
Star Wars Christmas Special (the real one, not the lego one)
Super Mario Brothers
Street Fighter (probably one of the better ones on the list, mostly in there for the camp factor)

Green Lantern is also in there, but that's my "safety" pick since I actually don't hate that movie. We're going to be voting on these, so films that are just bad and aren't really enjoyable probably won't make the list. Catwoman, for example, was mentioned but we all were just like... no.