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Author Topic: Ocelot #1  (Read 1626 times)

Offline Dr.Volt

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Ocelot #1
« on: October 01, 2010, 03:12:02 PM »
The Astounding Ocelot
Issue 1

On a cool, drizzly October night in Cascadia, a peculiar silhouette landed silently on a cold steel girder high above the docks in Trinity Bay. It was 2:00 a.m. The figure froze for a moment, listening to the sounds of the sea lapping against metal and wood; the creaking of great ocean vessels rocking so very slightly; the breeze pushing water vapor through frameworks of steel and cable all around him - and voices - voices emanating from an open cargo deck at Pier 33. He was keenly aware of it all; a predator among men.

With inhuman grace the silhouette climbed effortlessly up the arm of a loading crane to get a better vantage point on the large Asian cargo ship at the adjacent dock. The soft light from below revealed the figureís light yellowish outfit with spotted patterns like a leopard, form-fitted to a lithe but muscular frame of a gymnast. The ensemble was complete with a matching cowl featuring subtle cat-like ears and metallic claws, one of which tick-tick-ticked on the metal frame of the crane with anticipation. The Astounding Ocelot had arrived.

A voice shouted a command in Chinese and the motor on one of three cranes serving Pier 33 engaged. A panicked yell reverberated from the cargo hold and the cable from the crane swayed frantically. Seeing this, Ocelot leapt into the dark drizzle and lashed out with a high tensile swing line. In a fluid and silent motion the cat landed on the main deck of the foreign cargo ship. He had noticed the English translation on the port hull, it said Opulent Tanjong. The ship appeared to be a former military vessel Ė at least thirty years old - that had been converted for commercial use.

Finding a hatch unlocked, Ocelot entered the superstructure on the main deck. He rushed through deserted corridors toward the growing sound of peril. It was a male voice, shouting in full hysteria. Ocelot emerged onto a gridded metal catwalk and gazed down into the cargo hold. He saw a man tied at the ankles and hooked upside down from the crane dangling over a strong-looking container on the floor. He could sense the presence of a powerful beast. Something large paced within the container on clawed feet. Ocelot hunched down and counted six Chinese men, one of which supervised the operation from the bridge level above. He was an unusually large man with a sidearm holstered on his hip. Three men in the cargo hold were lined up along the starboard bulkhead. One of them held a remote device cabled to the livestock container. The final two men observed from behind a thick wire mesh on the port side. They all seemed quite entertained at the prospect of the captured man being lowered closer to the container as a reptilian growl rumbled off of the metallic walls.

There was no time to waste. Ocelot sprung forth with the swing line he swept down, feet first, on the three men with the control unit. The man with the remote was knocked cleanly away and propelled backwards - with a kong!!! - he bounced off of the bulkhead and slumped to the floor! Ocelotís swinging kick also blasted the second man squarely in the chest and smashed him into the third man and they fell together in a heap against the fore bulkhead! The leader fired his pistol from above, but Ocelot deftly dodged the shot and the round ricocheted twice off of the steel surroundings.
Ocelot unleashed bolos and struck the leader around the shoulders. This briefly held him but he was able to shrug off the cord. On the floor of the cargo hold, one man regained his feet and Ocelot quickly dispatched him with a single powerful kick to the midsection that drove him back to the wall with a pang! Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the room, two other men entered the hold and manually triggered the door on the container. As they ran back to safety behind the wire, the leader prepared to fire his 9mm at the cat-like intruder. Ocelot extended his clawed gauntlets and fired metallic claws with shocking precision! The manís gun was knocked away, clattering across the deck, and his hand was left stinging in pain! In obvious fury, the man yelled out a command and the crane began to lower the victim toward the mouth of the container.

Ocelot had to stop that crane.

With impossible power and smoothness the cat swung up and out of the hold and landed on the cabin of the crane. A somersaulting double kick was enough to blast open the door to the control room where he was confronted by an operator with a crowbar. In mere seconds, operator was swept to the floor and kicked efficiently to sleep. But the crowbar had busted and hooked into the control panel revealing a sparking wire. Ocelot struggled to stop the lowering of the cable in time and he could not retract it! Looking down into the cargo hold Ocelot could see a monstrous bipedal reptile had emerged from the container. It paused briefly, and then charged the port wall with a BASH! The creature was unlike anything Ocelot had seen Ė except in dinosaur movies! He tried once more to lift the victim out of the hold to no avail as the helpless man continued to scream and struggle at the end of the cable.

The smallish dinosaur took notice and coiled for a leap. Just as it sprung upward with its murderous fangs to severe the bait in two, Ocelot swept-in with great speed and snared the man away from certain death! Momentum was just enough to carry them up in an awkward loop. Ocelot kicked his legs back over his head and they landed precariously on the arm of the crane!

The man was out of harmís way, but Ocelot peered down on the ship with menacing intent. Criminals like the men below would never feel safe in Cascadia.

- written by Gary Brown, Ocelot created (and played in the story above) by Yours Truly

Offline UnkoMan

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Re: Ocelot #1
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2011, 04:00:44 AM »
I just thought I'd say, as if you didn't already know, I love the Ocelot.

Offline Tawodi Osdi

  • The other hawk guy
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Re: Ocelot #1
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2011, 05:56:38 AM »
This story reads well and maintains a good tempo that is easy to follow.  I did notice a couple of problems you may want to look at if you intend to do any revisions.  In the fourth paragraph, you have a man dangling over a strong-looking container with a powerful beast inside.  I am not sure what you mean by strong-looking container.  A different description would probably do best.  Also, in the fifth paragraph, the Ocelot trips a man by throwing a bolo at a him.  A bolo is a kind of tie warn by cowboys.  You probably mean bola.  Apart from these two minor discrepancies, it is a really good story.