Deadman Returns (conclusion!)

[BWPS]

Remember Deadman Returns part 1?

Spoiler

This is a story about a hero named Deadman, he died but came back to life like a zombie which also gave him the power of imperviousness to pain, regeneration, and some mysterious psyonic abilities for some reason. He's also really depressio and edgy.




DEADMAN RETURNS
A short story.

"Mort Macabre was killed in a dangerous accident two years ago according to this file, so who the heck are you pal?" said Tina, who was a cop who Deadman was in the office of.
"Deadman is my name, I was dead and I am a man, and so that is my name. I have powers." Replied the Deadman.
The officer scoffed "No offense, but why'd ya go off to the office of a tough official officer," She said softly, then coughed, "Can I offer you some coffee?"
"I needed to find some information about the man known as Big Dickie," explained the hero, "You see, I didn't die in an accident, my family and I were killed by Big Dickie, who is a rough customer. He killed us and only I came back to life and got powers, and I found out that you were the cop who was working on this fella and now I need to find him for revenge."
She slammed her hand on the desk, "Ok, Mister! What makes you think I'm gonna tell a guy like you where to find a guy like Big Dickie, who I've been tracking for months? I don't believe your story based on what I've read in this file!"
Deadman knew she wouldn't tell him anything, he was a smart guy. But as soon as he mentioned he was looking for Big Dickie, he got all the information he needed. Big Dickie hangs out in a bar called O'Ritzy's down on Twenty-Seventh and Oats Street. The information rushed into his head like a kid on a slide. He put on his coat and hat and said, "Thanks for the coffee I didn't drink, Tina."
"Deadman, wait, I have a few questions!" She said, but he was already gone. Tina looked out the window and it was raining. "Oh Deadman," she said, "Please be careful."

Later that night at O'Ritzy's Bar and Tavern, Deadman walked in. He was dressed in a coat and hat and his face was grey. A bunch of rough-looking customers did drugs and played pool and looked at him like he was some kind of zombie.
"Who the heck is this clown?" asked the bartender, pulling out a gun and firing at Deadman's head. The bullet hit him square in the eye, which bled out the blackest blood they'd ever seen. But Deadman pulled the bullet out and threw it at the guy's arm and shattered his clavicle, which exploded out blood and sent him screaming.
"Oh heck, HECK! What in the crap did you do that for, you big loonie?!" Screamed the bartender.
"I'm Deadman, you shot me in the eye for some reason which leads me to believe that I might find a man named Big Dickie around here. I don't want any trouble except with Big Dickie and maybe some of his body guards. Anyone know the guy I'm talking about."
Everyone in the bar stopped doing drugs and selling stolen cars and each of them grabbed a weapon. "Let's kick this punk's butt!" shouted a Croatian man who weighed 301 lbs.
Two guys ran at Deadman, the first had a chain spinning around his head and he was screaming and had curly hair. Deadman blocked his attack with his forearm, wrapping the chain around his fist. He then pulled the man toward him and punched his arm through the mans stomach, spilling the hamburger he'd had earlier that day to the ground, this time with ketchup... blood ketchup. The man writhed in pain on the ground until he died much later that day. The second man came out at him with a monkey wrench, but he was way too slow. Deadman punched him so hard in the mouth that his teeth came flying out at super speed, hitting another man, who held a broken bottle, in the face with the force of a machine gun, exploding his head in a spray of blood. Deadman finished Mr. Monkey Wrench with a powerful uppercut in which the goon's jaw hit his brain and caused him to suffer from amnesia for two seconds then die. Blood came from his mouth before he fell to the ground. The next fella was a short guy with a pool stick who came at Deadman from behind and cracked the stick over his skull. Deadman shrugged and said, "Is that the best you can do, Shorty?" then kicked the gangster's head clean off, except it wasn't clean, his spine and intestines came out with it. Next up, a WOMAN came in throwing rocks at Deadman that she got from outside. She was a prostitute and had a beard so Deadman quickly shattered a man with a baseball bat's pelvis and grabbed his weapon. "Batter up, Fuzzy!" He said, and quickly swung the bat at the rock, which returned to her sternum at 300 miles per hour. Her entire body exploded from the force in a million bloody pieces. "Now that's what I call a HOME RUN," he mused. Before you could even say pickle, three more guys came at Deadman, one had a bowling ball he was swinging, one had two knives, and one had a torch. "Fellas, please, I'd think you'd have learned your lesson." Deadman offered them a chance for the bad guys to escape, but one was married to that rock-throwing girl, so he didn't accept. The other two were brothers and were deaf so they didn't even hear him and figured they had to fight. He unwrapped the chain from his arm and it went around the bowling ball guy's head. Then he ripped the guy's head off like a cap to a cherry (blood) soda that had been shaken up (blood came like a fountain). The next guy was half ninja and he had two knives. "HIIIIIIYAA!" he shouted, and tried to cut Deadman. Well he cut him all right, but it was no big deal because he just healed. "Sorry, Karate Customer, but you just signed your own death sentence. And here's the period," Deadman said and punched the man a thousand times in all his organs, causing heavy internal bleeding which caused him to swell up, which he did. Then Deadman stepped on his swollen stomach and blood gushed out of him. Well that left the man with the torch. The torch guy was trying to set Deadman on fire and he wasn't sure how he was gonna take this loser out. But then he got an idea. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and quickly drank half of it into his mouth then spit it at the torch while it was in front of the criminal's face, setting his whole body on fire. He ran around screaming until he fell to the ground, his flesh popping and burning and his fat was melting. "Burn, baby, burn," said Deadman, but the guy didn't hear him because he was one of the deaf brothers. And he was dead. The fat Croatian was in the corner crying and doing drugs. Deadman walked up to him and said, "Where is Big Dickie, Tubbo?".
"He-he's in the bbbbasement! Please don't hurt me!" he replied.
Deadman grabbed all the drugs in the place and put them between two pieces of bread and said, "Here, have a sandwich, and stuffed it down his face. The fat man overdosed and died and Deadman kicked him. "Say NO to drugs and sandwiches, pal" and he walked downstairs to face Big Dickie.

......TO BE CONTINUED....?

Here is Deadman Returns part 2!

Deadman walked down some stairs. He was going to confront Big Dickie who was a rough customer who killed Deadman's family before he died and turned into Deadman and then Big Dickie killed him and he turned into Deadman. He walked down the first step silently. Deadman had been busy.. busy killing all Big D's bad guy henchmen. He thought about all their dead bodies which were lying dead upstairs. He fed one fat guy a huge drug sandwich. He stepped on the second step which let out a bloodcurdling (but not to Deadman, his blood was black and didn't curdle) screech like a million baby bears drowning in acid crying out for their mama bears who couldn't save them because it was winter and they were hibernating plus if they tried to save them they'd just die too because of the acid. The third and fourth steps were quiet so Deadman remembered how Big Dickie killed him and his family. This made him mad but it was okay because he was walking down to kill Big Dickie already anyway. As he walked down the last two steps, each creaked just a bit, like a single dolphin dying of cancer. Then he saw Big Dickie sitting in a big, thronelike chair for some reason. Two underage girls in bikinis were sitting in smaller chairs on his two sides. He was a huge muscly guy with no neck, he had veins busting out of his bald head with the letters "BD" tattooed on it. The "B" stood for Big and the "D" stood for Dickie, he would say to people before he killed them.
"Why hello there, Deadman, it seems you finally found me," he said smugly, "Girls, leave us."
The 16-17 year old girls got up to leave but Deadman broke a piece of wood off of the stair railing and threw it at the blonde girl and grabbed a Kork CD and threw it at the redhead at the exact same time. The wood sailed at the girl and broke through her rib cage and punctured her heart and lungs so she couldn't breath or pump blood and she died. The Korn CD went spinning at high speed and went through the redhead's neck. It didn't cut her head clean off but it jammed deep into her spine so her brain disconnected and she fell to the ground.
"WOOD you like to say something?" Deadman asked the blonde while she choked on blood and vomited oxygen. She didn't answer but if she could she would've said, "Like oh my god, Deadman, why did you kill me?" and he would've said, "For hanging out with Big Dickie, and how are you talking?"
Then Deadman turned to the redhead, "Sorry if that joke was a little KORNy!"
Big Dickie got mad. "You killed my strippers, jerkneck!" he yelled as he stood up. But then he started to laugh smugly.
"Why so smug, Punk? You know I'm about to kill you to get revenge for when you killed my family so maybe you should just give it up now and maybe I'll go easy on ya!" Deadman said, but he wasn't going to go easy on him at all because he was really mad.
"I'm laughing because I have a mutant experiment that is going to kill you behind this big door behind me. See, I created these big freak monsters using some scientists I kidnapped to build an army of bad guys to take over the city. But you won't be able to defeat me because this one will  kill you!" Big Dickie replied.
"Yeah right!" Deadman said, "You can't kill me... I'm already dead. From when you killed me you loser!"
A big door opened up and two HUGE mutant giant freaks were standing behind it. There was one who was a big green guy who had spikes on his back and gross yellow toenails. No one could stop this thing but maybe Deadman could. Deadman was smart though so he tried to stop Big Dickie as he ran away but the monster stood in front of him and was like, "RAWR".
"Nice to meet you, Deadman, but I really must be going. Enjoy the company!" Big Dickie smugly chuckled.
"Curse your smug hide!" he yelled, bit Big Dickie just ran away.
The monster threw him against the other wall and Deadman scrambled to his feet. "All right, pal, time to take your medicine!" Deadman jumped at him and punched him in the torso, but it barely made a dent! "Whoa, why can't I dent you?!" he said. The snarling beast monster freak punched his arm out of place and sent Deadman to the floor. There was a ceiling fan spinning. Deadman popped his arm into place without even crying. He did a backflip and grabbed a lamp and kicked off the shade. The mutant monster freak beast growled at him hungrily and tried to hammerfist Deadman who dodged one fist but got barely hit by the other. This mutant monster freak beast creature would be his toughest customer yet! Deadman smashed the bulb off the lamp leaving behind a sharp part where the bulb used to be and the exposed wires which were running with electric power. "Time to pay the power bill, ya chowderhead!" Deadman said as he jammed the lamp into the armpit of the giant mutant monster freak beast creature who howled with electrical discomfort as 10,000 volts went through his entire bloodstream and started to melt his brain. Dazed, the giant mutant monster freak beast creature brute jumped onto Deadman and started trying to crush him down into the ground. Suddenly the TV came on with Big Dickie's head."Well Deadman," said Big Dickie, "It looks like you're in quite a pickle... a pickle sandwich!"
Deadman was being crushed so he couldn't say anything cool. "What's the matter Deadman, still sad about your stupid family? Don't you like your new friend?"
Deadman got like ten times stronger when Big Dickie made fun of his family and managed to push the giant savage mutant monster freak beast creature brute off of him. "Oh yeah," he said, "I'm his biggest FAN!" and pushed the giant savage mutant monster freak beast creature brute villain up toward the ceiling. It's head hit the fan, and cut it up like a chainsaw through pizza, blood painted the entire room red and brains painted some areas purple. The fan suctioned its entire body into 1035 pieces. Suddenly three cops busted into the basement with guns. Officer Tina was leading them.
"Freeze Deadman, just what in the heck happened down here?" Deadman didn't freeze. Instead he started walking away.
"Stop or I'll shoot Deadman, " she said with tears in her eyes.
"What good will that do, Tina? I'm already dead," he said, as a kitten came up to Deadman and rubbed against his leg. Maybe he wasn't so dead inside after all, thought Tina. She lowered her gun. "Just... go," she cried. Deadman jumped out of the basement through a window and set off to find Big Dickie.
"Oh Deadman, " Tina said, "Why did I have to fall in love with you?"